I drove to Seattle for Applied Kinesiology work on my foot, and what I got was something entirely different.

If I were more new-age-y, I would say that I underwent a transformation.  An awakening.

If I were religious, I would say I experienced God.

If I were dramatic, I would say I experienced a nervous breakdown.

But I am none of those really, and the man I spent four days with seeking help for my foot is not a prophet, a magician, or a doctor, but simply a man with a gift for helping people source in to who they truly are.

Seeing Bob is as close as you can get to going on a pilgrimage to visit a guru in a Tibetan monastery without leaving the Pacific Northwest.  Its like a Native American vision quest without the fasting and peyote.

To be perfectly honest, I thought I was going to be going up there and having my arms and legs wiggled around and strength tested for weaknesses or energy blockages.  Imagine my surprise when my first appointment was nearly four hours of meditation!

mossy branchI meditated in the darkness.  I meditated surrounded by windows looking out on a thick tangle of mossy branches.  I meditated wrapped in a space blanket.  I meditated with needles poking out of my entire body.  I meditated in silence, and to sound therapy music.  I was determined to be awesome at meditation.

I was coached and taught, and I learned to accept rather than fight.  And by the end of the first day, I had an experience with meditation that showed me the absolute absurdity of wanting to be awesome at meditation, as if it were a skill to be conquered.  I don’t want to go into the details of what I experienced because it is for me, and words take away the power of something not meant for words, but I will tell you that it culminated in an ocean of joyful tears and a new beginning.

Sounds over the top, I know, but that’s exactly what it was.  It was over the top.  It was as if I had been a bottle of very fizzy champagne that someone had been shaking vigorously for 12 weeks.  The cork was doing all it could to contain the pressure for fear of making a mess with whatever crap was inside.  But on that first day, my cork sky rocketed, and instead of a bottle full of pain and frustration, I was spilling over with love and gratitude and joy.  It made no sense logically, but it was glorious.

The plus side was that I realized what was truly inside my bottle, and it was awesome.  The down side was that I just erupted it all over the floor.  I drove home that night feeling disoriented and dazed.  Over and over again, I’d realize that I was on the freeway going 45 in a 65 and a huge space had opened up between me and the cars ahead.  Where was my brain?  I’d get back into the flow of traffic only to find myself way back again a few minutes later.  I needed to get off the road pronto.

sage oilFor those four days, I stayed with my best friend from high school and her husband, Jazzy and Brian.  Even though I smelled like a hippie covered in sage oil and was way zoned out most of the time, like family they made space for me and let me do my thing without judgement.

For the rest of my trip, I filled the bottle back up and practiced connecting to myself without outside distractions.  He did acupuncture and energy work on my foot, and introduced me to multiple techniques from around the world.  Old crap was cleared out, and replaced by clarity about what I should do differently moving forward.  The things that limited me, injured me, scared me in the past were stripped naked before me.  Now all I had to do was make time to process it all and take action.

I turned off my cell phone and stopped looking at emails.  I checked out of all my obligations and decided to take a personal leave of absence for as long as it took to get my shit figured out (that’s why I haven’t been up to date on my Q&A).  My foot did not miraculously heal, but I felt a clear call to action for my next steps.  I would connect with my family in my home town for a few days and then drive to Phoenix in my VW Campervan to see Dr. John Ball.

Now I understand why people go to ashrams, or journey to Mecca, or give themselves to Jesus.  You don’t leave with a shopping list of expensive products and services required to make the treatment stick.  You leave with tools that help you be you more fully.  You leave optimized.  Its rehab for the soul.

Stay tuned for more of the journey!