The scar from my heel surgery is looking good, the contours of the heel bone beneath are smooth, the achilles tendon is nice and mobile. 95% of the time I feel zero pain. I’ve spent six weeks as a total lazy piece of poo and I don’t hate myself for it, so basically I give myself an A for my adaptive skills. For reference, my previous best grade while injured was a C, so I’m well impressed with myself.

It’s important for me to zoom out land look at where I’m at in this way every time I feel sad, which is the case today. It’s not crippling sadness. Just the kind that makes me want to go to bed and have it be tomorrow.

Technically I hit the half-way-to-running point four days ago, opening up new allowable forms of exercise and rehab work over the next 3 weeks:

• Longer and faster walks
• Biking (15-30 minutes, gradually build resistance and tempo) 3 x week
• Aqua jogging (5-10 minutes at a slow tempo) 2-3 x week
• Eccentrics from tip of toe to floor level 3×5 reps, 3 x week
• Standing two-legged heel raises 3 x 15 reps, 3 x week

Pretty exciting stuff! No really though, it is when you’ve been doing absolutely nothing. But at the same time I’m like, “Really, so I have to spend 20 minutes getting my gear together to drive 20 minutes to the public pool during the random hours the deep lanes are open (and find childcare at that time) so I can aqua jog lightly for 5-10 minutes, shower, change, and drive 20 minutes home?!” Now that I’m so used to gathering moss, I’d almost rather continue doing nothing for three more weeks until I get to the part where I can do some actual work in there, but the point is to get the foundation. So I’ll freaking do it. I’m not going to love it though {insert petulant child face}.

BIking on the other hand…I like biking. Even for 15 minutes.

Jaybird wireless X2′s for the win baby!

Even though I’m completely de-trained, and I have a LOT of work to do to have a shot at running in the Olympic Trials, an audit of my situation showed me I have a few things going for me.

1. Unlike every other time I’ve been sidelined, I miraculously didn’t gain much weight, so I don’t have to worry about losing it. I don’t really know how to explain how that happened. But in the nutrition section of the Believe Training Journal, I write about the characteristics of a type of eater that tends to escape the yo-yo and the drama, and I think after many years I’ve finally evolved into that type of eater. I’m grateful for that right now, because I have enough to work on without also needing to change my body composition dramatically.
2. My right butt works. Probably as a result of my heel problems, that corresponding glute had shut down quite a bit for the past two years, and post surgery it took several weeks to finally get the right muscles to turn on without recruiting hamstrings, back, etc. The bad news is that while I can now use the right muscles, they are weak as piss. The good news I have six more weeks without running to slay this dragon. I won’t start running until I have.
3. I’m in the right mental space for success and healing. I genuinely feel that if I had to choose one wish, I wouldn’t wish for the Olympics, or to PR. I just want to run again with my friends, for life. So I’m taking the conservative rehab approach to give myself the best shot at that, even if it means less time to prepare for the Olympic Trials. Taking the pressure off and lowering expectations is the best way to keep my cortisol levels lower, (cortisol sabotages healing). Ironically by letting go, I feel I’m giving myself the best chance of things working out.
4. I know I’m a fighter. I’m fierce. I want to win. And when my body is ready, I trust I can turn the switch on and my mind can go there. Until then, I have the confidence to let that bird fly for a bit while I do other things.

Speaking of other things, the second edition of the Believe Training Journal just arrived at Picky Bars HQ and all the pre-orders for charcoal and lavender went out yesterday. Red goes out next week. Last year’s book was received very well and the user reviews have been better than I dared hope for. If you’d like to see what a year can do for your running/life with the assistance of this journal, you can get an autographed copy here. Thanks in advance for buying directly from the authors, it makes a big difference!

Enjoy a run for me

Lauren