Its hard to believe that only two weeks ago I was a tightly wound ball of nerves, and stress threatened to kill all the fun of this weekend. Think “deer in the headlights,” and that’s the direction I was headed. But being the “seasoned veteran” that I am, I knew it was time to call in the support crew rather than sit there stewing.
I talked to a few key people who know how my brain works, people who know how to set me straight. I revisited my sports psych notes, and wrote up some affirmations. I talked to my family members and set the expectations where I wanted them. My bomb husband made me feel like a queen. I simplified my days to include only what was necessary work-wise, and anything else that made the schedule had to make me feel good.
But of all the people in the world, nobody pumps me up better than my Dad. He is an unconditionally supportive, keep-it-real dude whose heart is ENORMOUS and whose metaphors are even crazier than mine. I call my dad when I need someone to make me feel like a total bad ass.
When I was growing up, we had this saying in my family which I will refer to as “Hot Like 16,” but it doesn’t really have a name. It came from my Dad, and it was only used to describe something ranging from “way cool, man” to “un-f-ing believable!” How “hot” it was scored from a minimum of 6 (my mom’s yummy meatloaf) and could only get as high as 16 (the invention of Budweiser). You never even bothered saying something was “hot like 2,” etc. If it wasn’t at least a 6, it wasn’t hot.
The details are unimportant, unless you plan on spreading Fleshman family lingo around, but the point is, people in my family live for “Hot like 16” moments. My sister just got one, for example, when she graduated from NYU Nursing school and landed a highly competitive job at UCLA Medical Center. My dad would pop out of his bar stool with his thick strong hand poised for a burner high five and say, “Damn Lindsay! You ah HOT like sixTEEN mo-fos!!!!!!” And she would visibly glow for days.
When we spoke on the phone about my race, my dad put me at ease with his open heart. He reminded me that I had a lion’s heart, and that I needed to pull that sucker out and wear it on both sleeves (and rub it on my forehead for good measure) and kick some ass.
Winning to my dad means only one thing, and its not necessarily coming in first: its doing whatever you do with heart. And the beauty of that is, how much heart you put into something is within your control. Winning in a more conventional sense is not.
So the jitters are long gone, and now I’m just excited to go out there and see what I can do on the day. Compete. Fight. Be hot like 16. Enjoy the fact that I am able to do what I love again. That alone is my greatest accomplishment of 2010, and will remain as such, no matter what happens tomorrow, or the rest of the summer.
Brilliant. You clearly have an amazing family. Your dad sounds awesome. Thanks for the reminder that doing what you love is about as good as it gets.
WOOHOOOO GOOOOOO LAUREN. You and your family rock!
Wow! Congratulations. What an inspiration. I’ll put on my shoes tomorrow morning and get out there again and I’ll be thinking of your perseverence and determination. Don’t let your dreams die.
Lauren, I just caught your awesome 5000m win on ESPN — what a phenomenal kick! — and had to Google you. Congrats on an incredible race with a lot of heart!
Loved the race and the BALLS comment on ESPN after. No other word would have described it better. Congrats.
Congrats! HOT like sixTEEN mo-fos!!!!!!
Seriously ballsy performance today…very inspiring!
Way to go!”
Congrats on your race today!!!! Its great to see you back running so well. Keep it up, you’re a beast!
I loved this blog! I’m wondering if it would be weird if I ever asked to call up your Dad when I needed some inspiration?!? He sounds amazing.
Congrats!
Mom and Kathy
Congratulations on the championship Lauren!
my sister is a bad as
Yeah Lauren!! HOT like six-TEEN mo-fo’s indeed!!!
its inevitable. Yet laltey I have wondered how it is that I was educated the old-fashioned and how bad was it, really? I too was educated in large lecture halls (sometimes) and by fairly traditional professors (mostly). Somehow I managed to be inspired by what I learned in large and small classes the size of the class was important but I learned because I wanted to there was a direct correlation between doing the readings, going to class and being an active participant in my own life and my general satisfaction with college life. I enjoyed interacting with my professors, most of whom only knew my name if I bothered to show up for office hours and even then mostly did not. I did not take it personally because my parents did not coddle me. My self-worth was not tied to my own inflated sense of self-importance.This makes for compelling YouTube but where is the deep thought? Most of the faces holding up pieces of paper are white an indication that higher education remains the privilege of a select few. What? No paper commentary on THAT? And since when did young adults have no responsibility to their environment? Every day on my campus I pick up student litter those fancy laptops use energy and resources too. Many are in debt because they refuse to live below a certain consumer standard I managed to go to school and raise a child on the same financial aid package students who were NOT single parents received.Should professors endeavor to engage their students through active learning? Of course. I no longer use $100.00 text books because they are a waste of money and student time, not to mention my own. I work hard to bring the world into our classroom yet when I teach units on gender and sexuality, for instance, or about race (which the mostly white students on my Midwest campus seem to think is no longer an issue) and include the perspectives of the GLBT community, I am confronted by rage, hate, prejudice from students who can talk a good game about wanting more but actually don’t really want more if it means they must re-consider their attitudes. This all seems a tiny bit selfish and self-occupied. Instead of complaining about how boring and awful your profs are, why not complete the readings once in awhile and contribute. This notion that learning is attached to instant gratification that everyone must see the value of all things immediately if not yesterday is a part of the modernity young people are creating instant messages, instant everything. In fact, I am still actively considering lessons from my past that which you hear today you may not understand until tomorrow. If higher education is not serving your needs, go get a job or volunteer. My daughter is your age, she lived out of country for a few years and found out how the world works. She is now in college and grateful every day for the education she is receiving. She doesn’t have time to whine about how unfair it is that people care enough to send her to school and try to mentor her while she is there. She is too busy doing her homework, working at a job in her future field and dreaming about the future you read how many Facebook entries a year? Who told you to do that? Go read a book instead. The library is full of them and your professors would be delighted to sit and talk with you about them. Everyday I have students come to my office to talk about ideas some of them are now working on research projects with me. There are dedicated professionals in universities who care about the quality of your education get your head out of your earphones and computer screens and go talk to them.
“sandal,”