Q:
Dear Lauren-
The last track season was bad for me. Really bad. My previous school’s cross country/long distance track program was very weak, meaning that I was the top runner. Well, that is, until halfway through the year. Then a girl from the school district next to mine transferred to my school and began beating me, which really ruined my self-confidence.
During races we would run together for the first mile or so (she was better than me, yes, but only marginally), but if she gapped me I would mentally consider myself a failure and end up slowing down considerably, even though that I knew I was in shape to continue at the pace and possibly, if she was off that day, beat her. In essence, I would give up before the real racing started. This year I am in high school (the girl is only in eighth grade) and have found that the competition is much more intense. Now there are three our four girls in my school alone that are at my level or better.
With the guarantee that I am no longer the top runner, how should I stay mentally confident and strong in races, considering all of the trouble I had over track? I was wondering what mental techniques you used in races where you got gapped or fell behind the lead pack.
Sincerely, ABS
Running Level: High School
A:
Hey ABS,
Lining up for the CA State Meet senior year. Recognize the girls next to me? Comment if you know any of the three girls to my right!
One of the cool things about running as a youth, pre-high school, is that you can really stand out at a young age. You only race against other people who have also discovered the sport early, so if you have talent, you’ll find yourself on the podium pretty quickly. Then in high school all sorts of rookie kids start training and finding their talent too, and it sounds like you are feeling as if you are getting lost in the mix.
This can mess with your confidence because winning used to be pretty straightforward. Now, in order to win, you have to develop some new tricks and techniques, and you have to up your training and commitment. And, as you already mentioned, you have to develop strong mental fortitude. Your passion for the sport can’t be tied only to winning because winning will never be as easy as it was when you were in youth track. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t talented. It doesn’t mean you don’t have what it takes to win again. It just won’t necessarily be a straight fast line to the top like when you were younger.
You are almost in a new sport now: The races are deeper and tighter. You’ll lose to people you want to beat at first. You’ll have to learn to fight hard for 10th before you can learn to win again. In a way, you are starting over. That’s an exciting thing! If you look at it like that, you can look forward to what’s coming up ahead, rather than comparing yourself to the past.The absolute key to your future success is viewing this experience as an exciting challenge, rather than a threat to your dominance. You are not a failure. You’re just moving to the next level and have some growing and improving ahead. Running from a place of fear will kill your passion faster than anything else, and without passion, you’ll never be your best.
If you want to be mentally strong and get the most out of yourself, you can’t be attached to your past successes. Motivation can’t come only from winning. This is true for you, for your competitors, AND for pros like me. A good mantra would be “I love to run and I love to compete.” You CAN control how well you compete…how well you fight. You CAN’T control who wins every race, or which new kid picks up the sport and has short term success, or if puberty effects you or not, or thousands of other things. I can’t control if some new pro has the year of her life, or if I get a surprise injury, or if I’ll have a bad day at the Olympic Trials. But we can control what we fill our mind with. If you focus on the love of running and competing, than overall, over time, you will maximize your talent, and I’m willing to bet you’ll stand on many more podiums.
Here is a drawing to show what a running career generally looks like for most top runners.
It’s rarely a straight line to the top with victory after victory after victory. Enjoy your great moments when they come and remember that the slumps are temporary and full of things to learn that will make your future peaks even higher. With this kind of mindset, each race feels less urgent, and you can just get out there and run your best on the day.
You can do this.
Lauren
Hummm…Sara and Kara???
Hmmm, that’s Kara I think.
That’s definitely Sara Hall. I can’t see the others well enough to tell..
Trina Cox, Anita Siraki and Sara (Bei) Hall?
Nailed it!
Should have worn the bun huggers.
This… “The absolute key to your future success is viewing this experience as an exciting challenge, rather than a threat to your dominance. You are not a failure. You’re just moving to the next level and have some growing and improving ahead. Running from a place of fear will kill your passion faster than anything else, and without passion, you’ll never be your best.” just changed my day. Thanks!
Great job! everyone looks so happy
When I take a look at the chart I see the lowest points are Freshman and Sophomore years. I would why the levels of performance are so low at this point? Is it because of friends. extracurricular activities or personal issues?
That’s like getting a dental tooth visit and finding out your tooth has decay. So sorry to hear that your xc team is beating you. There are so many things to look forward to Abs!
Lauren, i agree on you on this one.
When people start beating me, I tend to become more driven, I love it! I suppose it can happen if you’re too long on the top of the spectrum, I suppose then it can have a negative effect, especially if you started life on top. I’ve been on both sides, an innumerable amount of times!
Great Article! Thanks… loved the part that motivation can´t come only from winning!
Your philosophy resonates in running and competing as well as what life throws at you in business and your personal goals. What a motivation it represented to me as I move through transitions in my legal career–used to being in a spotlight in my professional vertical and then challenging myself as others come up though the ranks. I have passion and the love to compete to make what I do even better and more valuable. Again, passion and the willingness to work hard and compete even if only with yourself, is a fantastic driver and knowing that there is always someone on your heels or taking the podium you thought was yours is the best internal classroom you will ever have. I love your blog, Lauren. I never fails to evoke something personal in me.
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Thanks for the great article – you hit a lot of points that truly resonate with me. Love the little drawing too.
I am researching the 50/0 dtebae as there is a meeting at the school at which I teach to determine what our practice should be. I appreciate your realistic view that if you do nothing, why should you be given half credit? Do nothing, get nothing. Isn’t that what life usually shows us? I think that giving artificially inflated grades gives kids the though that if they do nothing, they should expect to be given something. Where in real life does that happen? I wonder if I did half my job as a special educator and ignored my paperwork what the school would do to me I don’t think I’d have a job.
I have experienced a similar trajectory in my basketball career. I got hit when kids discovered their talents in high school, but I stuck with it, and I became a great player overall. Not professional, but I am very comfortable at whatever semi-pro, hobby level I play at.
Wow, that chart definitely puts it in perspective!
“But we can control what we fill our mind with.” This is a great reminder to keep in mind. With my experiences in Crossfit and running, I know that when I mentally don’t think I can do something or will fail, then I most likely won’t perform well. For this young girl she has a lot of potential and has her whole high school career to look forward to!
Great article! I like that you don’t say it doesn’t matter whether you win or lose – because it does matter! It just isn’t everything!
That’s a really cool chart.
I’ve gotta say when I was a teenager it took me a long time to realize that beating my old best time was what was important, taking first every competition just wasn’t feasible for me, but improving is what really matters.
I love this reply, one of the toughest things for me to learn when I was young was that I would never be the best in state, but that I could always improve on my personal time.
The road to the top is never a straight line 😉
Amazing article! As long as your trying and dont give up, win or lose its a victory.. Never give up
Wow, this article made my day! Lauren, you really got a talent for writing. First time poster and long time reader. Looking forward to a book.
Great article, and just remember a lot of people fizzle out of a sport before they reach the top, so just keep chipping away at it and don’t get disheartened. Looking forward to more questions and answer :):)
“Enjoy your great moments when they come and remember that the slumps are temporary and full of things to learn that will make your future peaks even higher. With this kind of mindset, each race feels less urgent, and you can just get out there and run your best on the day.”
This is true in any area of our life.
Thank you for your inspiration!
thanks for sharing this information with us 🙂
I really resonated with so many of the things said in here, it helps to push through the times when I’m uncertain I can set my goals much further. It’s also helpful to remind myself not to compete with anyone but myself, to beat my own previous times, go a little further, push a bit harder, and beat my own goals. It keeps me happier and less bitter if for some reason I fail, but that failure teaches too. I love this blog, it shows you that keeping moving, and continuing forward will get you everywhere.
You have a talent for writing the most wonderful and insightful posts. I enjoy your writing so much. As always you have been inspiring to thousands of folks like me.
Benchmark against yourself, not others. You can’t do anything about what your competition is doing overnight, it can only happen through gradual self-improvement. It’s hard to take this advice at your age, but the sooner you stop comparing yourself to others and only compete against yourself, the better off you’ll be!
This is definitely motivating me right now. Feels like I am in the same situation. I try my best and can’t always be the best. I can only train harder and get better but I know it doesn’t change overnight. Gotta keep improving!
This is so great, thanks!!
How long should we be tracking our goals on paper like this, charting and pushing? When is the time to re-evaluate what we’re aiming for? I know we change as we grow, and perhaps keeping goals from the age of 18 til now isn’t the best way to feel like I’m succeeding in my own goals.
I think its good to re-evaluate what you are aiming for every single year. Just because goals adapt and things may be “less intense” or “hard core” with time or circumstance or priorities doesn’t mean that setting goals matters any less! Reframing goals for where you are in your life is super important. How do you want running to figure into your overall life? What do you want to get out of it? What has meaning to you? A training diary facilitates this, and honors the work you do!
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