Q: How to Deal with Crippling Pressure?
Hi Lauren,
In a month I will be starting cross country at a division 1 college, I’m nervous, so nervous that I can’t even imagine finishing a race. and the thing is, its a real possibility. Over the course of the two seasons in high school I ran, I dropped out of four races, maybe more. I just feel like I can’t get passed this worry to get to my true potential. It makes me dog the race because its obviously better to finish slow than not at all. If I felt the pressure in high school, how do I deal with it in college?
-Ally
A:
oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh…
Dear Ally,
I’ve dealt with that too, and it sucks. Three years ago I crumbled under pressure on America’s biggest stage: the USA Championships. With 600 meters to go, I stopped and walked, and eventually talked myself into finishing (though well behind my potential.)
Your racing is most likely carrying too much of your identity, so if you fail, in your mind it has consequences for who you are as a person. If you read about adolescent development (which lasts until you are in your mid-20’s by the way) the defining area of growth during that age is finding your identity. In order to do this, you start to see yourself as you fit in with larger groups and systems….no longer an oblivious girl with dirty knees and a big smile just running for fun, you are hyper-aware of your competitors, of the expectations of others, of what’s at stake. In my opinion, its the biggest growing pain for athletes. Until you learn to master this, it will own you.
The way this translates into your running is as follows: your races become little tests and challenges for you to find out more about yourself as a competitor and as a person. You start seeing people around you doing things like dropping out, and they get labeled and talked about by other people. You see that and you think, “Oh man, I don’t want to be like that.” You see their actions and draw conclusions about their identity.
Dropping out of a race does not determine who you are. It is simply something you have done. It is a behavior.
You are not a drop out. You dropped out.
Once you disconnect those actions from your identity as a person, you have the power to change your racing. Once you realize that your racing doesn’t define you, there is way less pressure. Fear is gradually replaced by excitement and a simple desire to see what you can do on the day. You need to get back to the basics, girl.
So I recommend you do the following:
1. Take out a piece of paper and write down what you like about running.
2. Write what you like about competing.
3. Write down the way that you have felt before your best races.
Keep it really simple, and cross out anything that you wrote down that is out of your control (i.e. “winning”). The rest of the information should be tacked up on your bedroom wall for the entire summer. If you focus on those basic things, you will perform much better. If it worked for me, it can work for you.
I have a saying that I repeat to myself whenever I get really fearful of competition or start to feel too much pressure. I focus on my breathing, picture something calm like a breeze going through palm trees, and let this run through my head on a loop until I feel better:
Running is not who I am; its something I do; its something I love.
You always have the power to change your behavior. Now get busy so you can go out and kick some butt this fall!
Lauren
This post, and the earlier one re: weight loss, should be required reading for all h.s. and college athletes and their coaches.
Just do me a favor and keep writing such trehcnant analyses, OK?
Just to add to Lauren’s great advice- Carlos Lopes of Portugal ran 3 marathons before winning the Gold Medal in the 1984 Olympics. Of those 3 he finished 1.
He dropped out of NYC, finished 2nd in Rotterdam, then dropped out of Rotterdam, then got hit by a truck (!) a couple weeks before the Olympics (and spent 3 days in the hospital) then WON the Olympics.
Lauren,
I’m a high school cross country coach of both boys and girls and I want you to know how much I value your advice. Your comments on weight reduction,relationships vs. selfishness and today’s answer on crippling pressure are uncommonly preceptive. I use them to discuss these issues with both teams.
I deeply appreciate your website.
Geoff
You said a mouthful! Easy does it, they say…but sometimes it ain’t so, necessarily. You are a great coach! We be missing you in So.Cal…
Lauren, so simple + powerful = natural. You reveal a genuine reflection of truth borne out of personal struggle, perseverance, and developed character. I am very proud of you, in your desire to be there for others on the same journey. Lauren, I anticipate that the future breezes through the palms will fill your spirit with exceptional balance, power, and excellence of performance.
I know what this feels like. I had some really bad panic attacks during marathons in 2006 and 2007. (My PR is 2:18). I was in the best condition of my life going into Berlin in 2007, and while Haile G. was running a world record, I was already back in the hotel rolled up in a fetal position. I would not wish a panic attack on my worst enemy. It’s THAT bad. You feel like you either want to jump in front a train or you feel like you are going to collapse and die immediately.
After Berlin in 2007, I tried again at Cologne Germany the following weekend and made it to 20km before having a delayed panic attack. I went to a sports psychologist in Belgium at the University of Leuven to try to figure things out and yes, I was putting so much pressure on myself to perform and improve my finishing time, I had “lost the plot”…..running should be fun and enjoyable at all times!
Training is the easy part….much less pressure, but in the race setting you have to PERCEIVE it as a fun experience, as if it does not matter how you do, first or last. If you can go out and make it a fun thing like a game at the start, the competitive spirit will begin to flow and you will have a “normal” racing experience.
Jason
Excellent advice!
This is a great post, I wish I’d read it in school! I also used to get so nervous before my races in high school that I dropped out at times. It was crippling. I started practicing meditation to help me relax and visualization with the help of the book “Magical Running,” and it made a world of difference. I learned to relax and even enjoy racing! And my times dropped dramatically.