Ok peeps. You read looked, you scratched your head, you pondered, you commented (fist bump), you got bored and ate a sandwich…and now I will use the ol’ alphabet to fill you in on what happened during my post-baby 5k debut in Sydney last weekend. Part one here.
After a night of decent sleep thanks to the hospitality of the Sydney Track Classic race organizers, I left Jude in the hands of two very capable friends: my Aussie sister and Olympic wondergirl Georgie Clarke (left), and my Picky Bars partner in crime and elite marathoner Stephanie Bruce (the pregno one).
Right when I was about to walk the half mile from the hotel to the track, a HUGE storm rolled in. Gusts of wind slamming sheets of rain against the hotel lobby windows, lightening lit up the sky and the thunder made you wanna hug attack your neighbor.The race director assured me it was going to pass quickly and that the meet would stay on schedule, and I looked at him like this.
He took pity on me and drove me to the track, but he could only take me so far. The whole stadium of people was huddled under the overhang while ankle deep water flowed across the sidewalk and sheets of rain poured down. In 50 meters I was soaked hair to sneaker. My dear favorite, cottony LF Sweatpants proved to be a very poor choice (shoulda stuck with the Leslie but I wanted to feel “loungy,” sigh). Twenty minutes later, the sky was clear and it was perfectly still, as promised, and it was biznass time!
!
First things first. Before going on a warmup jog, I stopped at the checkin desk to get my race number, which is generally what you do an hour before a track event, but there was nobody at the table to check in with. They must have fled the lightening seeking safety in an area not surrounded by metal tent poles, which begged the question, should I also flee this area? Athletes descended on the table, flinging envelopes and grabbing numbers willy nilly, and I jumped in on the fun. The officials came back just as I was slipping out the tent door.
I warmed up alone mostly, and was really missing my Little Wing teammates. I occupied my mind with thoughts about what they have been up to, which was a great distraction for pre-race nerves. Then I jumped in with Eloise Wellings for the last few minutes and we talked about our babies. She has a 10 month old named India Rose and just started back racing a month ago (hello! That’s me now!)
At final call, which is generally about 20 minutes before the race, all the 5k women were brought into the tent and “hipped.” Basically you get your lane number assigned and have to stick the corresponding number on your hip(s). There’s a lot of variety when it comes to “hipping.” The number is there in case of a photo finish to help identify who was who, (as if you couldn’t tell any other way.) Ideally you only have to wear one on your right hip (that’s where the camera is), but some races make you wear it on both hips, or even put one on your chest as well. Sometimes you just stick them on, and other times you have to also put a pin through it. They can be small, or big, or shaped like a diamond in the case of the Diamond League Series. In this race, there were two, they were fairly gigantic, and the officials required four pins, each. After all of us managed to put eight pins through the numbers on our tiny bun huggers, we were informed that every pin had to go through the number TWICE, so it wouldn’t fall off. At this point, we were all just laughing. This pin business was going to delay the freaking race! Eloise (who ended up beating me as the only other participant in the lactation division,) decided she had had enough.
“I’ll give you a million dollars if this number falls off my hip. You hear that? A million dollars. In 15 years, a number has never fallen off my hip. Think about it. A million dollars.”
The rest of us started totally cracking up, and the officials didn’t know what to make of it. Eloise led the way as we all walked out toward the track, and she pointed over her shoulder, smiling, one final time, “a million dollars.” The official just smiled.
After all that hipping and pinning and waiting around, we walked halfway around the track to the start line, where a line of baskets awaited us to drop off our sweats and change into our spikes. And after all that was done, we all lined up in hip order a few feet behind the start line, waiting for the gun. And then! Out of nowhere! World Silver Medalist and pre-race favorite from Kenya, Mercy Cherono, saunters over to the baskets. Where on Earth has she been? We all stand there watching as she takes off her sweats and…GASP! No HIP NUMBERS! The race is meant to be starting already! Luckily eight hands are much faster than two. Mercy didn’t stress. She went out and won like it ain’t no thang.
As for me…I struggled to maintain the fast pace up front and started sucking wind after about 3k. The front pack gradually pulled away. My form started eroding, my power diminishing, and with it my enthusiasm. When you’re excited about your position, it’s easy to push yourself to your max. When you’re alone and suffering, if you allow it, your mind disengages and the body follows. I had a moment with three laps to go where I asked myself “Are you really going as fast as you can go right now, in this moment?” In that exact moment the answer was no, so I picked up the pace. It caused a lot more suffering, for no tangible gain, but at least I’d be able to walk off the track knowing I did my best.
Part of me believed I was capable of a sub 15:30 on a good day, but it wasn’t a good day, and I also may have overestimated my fitness. Because of all the years of experience I have, I can rip out a few workouts that fool me into thinking I can swing a good race, when in fact, I’m far from race ready. There is so much work to be done.
All these thoughts went through my mind during the last lap, and when I crossed the finish line I felt defeated. I was flown in and put up in a hotel like a star athlete, and my performance was mediocre. I looked up in the stands and saw my son and had to hold him, and when I did I was reminded of the purpose of 2014. I put myself in this position intentionally. I’m working hard, but not nearly as hard as one needs to if they want to be truly excellent. And that is on purpose. Doing so will allow me to have the experience I want as a new mom. It will also keep me healthy, and I desperately need a full year of health under my belt to achieve what I want in the future.
Logically, that’s all fine and good. Deep down, it didn’t feel that sweet.
And that’s when the awesome started. I signed a few autographs on my way out of the tunnel and who was waiting for me outside but my friends from Bend who live in Australia now! Jesse’s best friend’s sister Marie brought her family all the way from Manly and made a sign and everything, keeping their little ones up WAY past their bedtime, just to support me in my race. Marie even wore Oiselle to bring some bird love my way. I was so grateful for their effort I could cry, and I sent them home with lots of hugs and thank you’s.
And then, as I started on my cooldown, I saw a stranger standing with Georgie, Steph and Jude, also wearing Oiselle. Considering there’s only one place to buy it in Australia, I was curious. And sure enough, it was the owner of FiveMore, the Sydney Boutique that carries it! Catherine was absolutely awesome to chat with and an inspirational runner herself. O fans, you’ll get a kick out of the google maps street view of her store. Glad they can’t get that close to my actual house!
Well if you are a runner, or know one, this photo doesn’t need an explanation. Race done. Burger. Boom. *
*(Crappy Australian porter not pictured).
—————————————————————–
For a rapid fire interview on the race, check out the latest in the Fireside with Fleshman series with Sally Bergesen.
Results posted here.
Special thank you to Maurie Plant and the rest of the team at Athletics Australia for your hospitality and the competitive opportunity. I underestimated how tough the first one back would feel, and hopefully I can come back when mom strength is in full effect like Eloise! Speaking of Eloise, thanks for the encouragement and inspiration over the weekend. My fanhood for you ever increases. Nice website by the way! Steph Rothstein Bruce, thanks so much for taking two weeks out of your life to travel and help me with Jude. You’ll be an amazing mom. And Ben, thanks for sharing her! Thanks to Jesse for never clipping my wings, even if it means I kidnapped your only son during a critical time of baby development so I could have an adventure. He only got three teeth while we were gone. To the birds, and brobirds, family, friends and fans, thanks for following along, some of you in the middle of the night! I was a little self conscious getting out there again, but you all make me feel supported.
And finally, to this girl:

11 years ago I met you on a train in London, and we’ve had so many great adventures. Thanks for everything you did to make this one special! And thanks to your mum and dad too! Georgie Clarke, I mean Sutherland (wahoo!), I have SO much love for you.
Love this recap. As a new mother myself, my purpose for 2014 is to adjust to this new little man in my life and soak up every moment with him. It has been frustrating not being able to train the way I imagined I could post partum but in the end I am appreciative of the body that created my favorite little man : )
Glad to see you back on the track. Think the ballsiest part was flying halfway around the world with a youngster – most daring we ever got was cross country filght to the 2000 Sacto trials with a sub 2 yo. Good Luck!
Best thing to wake up to ever. You make me so proud Lauren! I love the honesty and openness you exhibit for us, your fans. Thank you for sharing this. My kids are older than your little one, they’re 5 and 2. It took some adjusting to get used to the post baby me, my body just felt different. But I feel like a freaking rock star now during road races like I could run forever after surviving the marathon of being pregnant and delivering. I think it gives me extra attitude when I think: I delivered a 9.7lb Buick practically, this race is nothing compared to that!! It will all come together in time so be patient with yourself, LF. The best part: my kids love telling people “Our mom is FAST”. Nothing compares to that!!
Inspirational and well written, as always. Thanks and Best Wishes.
Thank you for sharing this with us and I’m sorry your race didn’t go the way you expected. I think as moms (and as women in general) we tend to compare ourselves to each other (usually unrealistically). I am new mother of 9 month old twins and a non-competitive runner, but sometimes when I see your posts I think to myself “why can’t I snap back like that!?!” So it was refreshing to me to see that you don’t feel totally snapped back – and I think you’ve realized the same thing I have: It’s more important to be a new me, a mom me, than for me to try to be like I was before I had the twins. It’s ok to skip a run to play peek-a-boo or to just sit on the couch after an exhausting morning, it’s ok to turn a 5-mile run into a 3 mile walk if I’m not feeling it, it’s ok to do whatever I want because I’m the mom now! Ultimately, I wanted to say thank you for keeping it real once again. Also, your watercolors rock!! You could totally have an 8th career path there 🙂
Great recap! Sorry it didn’t go as well as you hoped!
I’m a new mother myself and I’m really struggling with not being able to run at all 2.5 months postpartum. I’ve been all healed up for a while, but my, um, mammary glands hurt something awful any time my pace is faster than a leisurely stroll. Did you experience anything like this? Maybe your readers have insights as well.
Are you BFing? Try to go for a run later in the day, right after a feeding as opposed to the morning. Also – invest in good, supportive bra. I had to actually double up for the first month or two, even with a good bra, for them not to hurt. It gets better.
Great blog and welcome back! I went to street view and couldn’t see what I was supposed to see. Do tell…
Lauren,
Thanks for fixing your email thingamajig. I always enjoy reading your posts, but I’m normally way too lazy to go looking for updates! Again, Thanks!
Thank you for this. Your honesty and willingness to share your vulnerability are truly inspiring. Comebacks, whether from childbirth or injury or illness or something else are HARD, and it’s really helpful to have a reminder that they are hard for *all* of us. I wear my Homeboy tee with pride 🙂
Good one. Funny – “all the way from Manly” (!) That’s just across town, just over the Sydney Harbour Bridge. I like the watercolours.
Glad to see you back competing (long time reader, as an old T&F and XC teammate of your hubbie’s in school — back when I could actually beat him occasionally). Hilarious write-up, and the pictures and honestly made it even better. You have got guts travelling with child. I have two that both double-digit age, and I still can barely put up with them for too long in a confined space 😉
Running into more Bendites when you’re on the other side of the world and having them support you is even more awesome (having known Marie since I was about 6, it’s hysterical that out of all the people you’d see there, it’d be her — great bunch of folks, that family is). You guys are a great inspiration. Just need to drag my sorry butt back into shape, and it’s write-ups like this that help me get there.
So happy to read your adventures again! you are so gutsy traveling with a little kid, half way across the world.
As for racing, it is only March for God’s sake! and many baby moments in the last year plus. You’ll get your groove back again.
Loved the photos and drawings inserted. You go, girl!
Your Eugene fans love you and miss you!
This is great. The first one back is aways rough. You will find your way back. Pumped to follow this journey.
You’re absolutely an inspiration, and your Aussie adventure is the perfect beginning to this new chapter! Congratulations on everything you’ve done this past year, and enjoy this process of becoming better than ever. Good luck in LV!
Loved reading your recap. Glad you are back and sharing your adventure.
Hey Lauren. Always a pleasure to read your adventures, and your great outlook on all things! You are friggin amazing, and little Jude is one lucky kid. You are a great mom, cause you already have your priorities in line, and realize what really matters. Good for you to have “that first post baby race”, under your belt. (Or should I say, “4 pins on each hip.”) Look forward to seeing you in Bend this summer. XOX cindi
I think of you, whenever I have a “ginger chew’. Austin bonding.
I missed these! thanks for keeping us updated!
-Brobird Dan
This was so fun to read as usual.
Thanks for the heads up email in keeping us in the loop!
It’s so badass that you just put it all out there for all of us average runners running our own races. That’s why I’m a proud card carrying member of your fanclub 🙂
Thanks for the update love! I will actually stop by next time i’m in Bend. So proud of you and happy to see you’re still adventuring as a mom!
You sound so defeated 🙁 Your mojo will be back. Some of us can only dream what you do.
XO
Last one:It’s been a while, I’ve lost my smile.I’ve given myself, to my deonms for a time.I’ve felt great joy, and gut wrenching pain,Somewhere in the middle, I thought I’d lose my mind.But, it’s always darkest,just before dawn I’ve suffered the night,and I’ve got to move on.I’ve braved through the winter,of my true discontent.Now, I’m back on the path,for the purpose which I was sent.I can never forget you,like breath you gave me life.You gave me purpose and strength,when I’d lost my will to fight.I thought I’d never recover,when your soul was called home.I felt the stranglehold of death,as it gripped at my soul.I thought I’d lost my purpose,and my will to survive.Then I recalled your beautiful voice,saying: “Daddy, please don’t cry.”No longer in bondage,to the pain of this world.You’ve been given new life,now you’re God’s little girl.The tears they still fall,and I’m still saddened that you’re gone.Please, remember Daddy loves you.And know your memory lives on.
Thanks, I’ve been seeking for information about this subject matter for ages and yours is the best I’ve located so far.