Something tells me Stafko would not approve that I wore this outfit in public.
So this guy Chad Stafko at the Wall Street Journal wrote an article a few days ago about runner’s putting 26.2 stickers on their cars and preening around shoving their athletic feats in everyone’s faces. I’d say give it a read but you probably already have, and if you haven’t, don’t bother. It’s pretty lame to be honest. When I read it, I wasn’t so much pissed off as I was incredulous that the Wall Street Journal would print such a thing. I kind of assumed they had higher journalistic standards, and that assumption had me doubting my interpretation of the piece…Could Stafko be writing a satire here? Is he making a long joke? I read through the final paragraphs again to see if I had missed the punchline, and again I couldn’t find one. Huh.
I wasn’t annoyed enough to write a response right away. I kind of just thought “he doesn’t get it,” and moved on with my life, which has included tending to a sick baby, taking care of my own sick self, and dealing with the burst pipes under the house that generate our radiant floor heating…which are no longer generating heat for a few days…just in time for projected temperatures of 22 degrees tonight. Heyo!
Nonetheless I followed the buzz. During the many cracks of life that I use to watch my twitter feed, I observed as people got their feathers ruffled over the article, and read with curiosity a few response pieces written by people in the running industry. My favorite was Mark Remy’s response at “Runner’s World.” He “translates” Stafko’s article into common speak, and it gave me a much needed laugh. Mario Fraioli at “Competitor Magazine” tried to fight hatred with big open arms, inviting Stafko to try running, and Jim Gerweck challenged me to think about how the sport has changed with the invention of social media, giving a broader context to Stafko’s criticisms.
I wasn’t going to write anything but there are two things that keep circling in my head. Things circling in my head means no sleep, and sick moms really need sleep, so here it goes.
1. All the stickers and fancy running outfits and things that annoy Stafko…they aren’t really meant to get in people’s faces like he says. At least not for most people. They are a symbol of accomplishment for some. They are part of the culture of a tribe for others…they help people identify like minded people who enjoy the same lifestyle, which is really handy if you ask me, so long as it’s not exclusive and abusive. When I see someone with a running sticker on their car, I usually honk and wave! Given how the running community is, there is probably no more than five degrees of separation between us, (and Kevin Bacon).
2. Some runners (and endurance athletes in general) do tend to proselytize their way of life in a way that is very judgmental of non-active people. Being enthusiastic about what you do is one thing. Preaching and judging are another. I know we have an obesity crisis and everything, but when I witness someone in person or on the internet crossing that line into judging, it makes me sick inside.
At every single event I speak at, every expo where I meet with fans, there are lots of people who come up to meet me and, no joke, apologize to me before shaking my hand. “I only run a couple times a week,” they’ll say, or “I’m not a real runner like you,” or “I haven’t really been training as much and have put on some weight but…” or something else that puts them down a notch. It hurts me that someone would think I would judge them based on their running commitment or body type. But then I remember that these people don’t know me. They must be drawing an assumption about me based on what they experience in the greater running community at large. Somehow people like Stafko are being made to feel less-than. Some of that is their own deal and their own insecurities, but if we are being honest, some of it is created from within our ranks.
So what do we do about it? I’m curious what you guys think, but for now, this is what I’m doing. I take the same approach to spreading the love of running that many people I admire take with religion. Do less pushing and do more living. Live an open, magnetic life according to your values and I figure it will naturally attract people who are ready and receptive to it. The second thing is reminding myself that a lot of the life enhancement I get from running is less about actually pounding the pavement and more about having a passion. Someone can get this from art, or cooking, or sudoku, so I try to encourage the passion in others in whatever form it’s taking. And finally, branch out. As much as we love running, it’s not healthy to be surrounded and consumed by it 24/7/365. Keep some social slots open for non-running friends and non running activities. Mingle with civilians. Swap recipes. It’s good for all of us. Maybe if Stafko knew more runners he wouldn’t be slamming us.
Or maybe he’s just a curmudgeon. Hard to tell.
I get that a lot – I start talking about running and people say, “I really need to start/re-start running…” and I always tell them, “Yeah, but only if you like it.” I think it’s the fact that most people are physically able to and already know how to run that makes them feel bad about not doing it – nobody feels bad that they haven’t been rock climbing lately (if they’re not rock climbers), because it’s not a given you can already do it. Plus so many of us do run that on top of the mild shame, there’s also an abundance of opportunities to be annoyed. So I just take the hands-off approach and encourage people who are excited about running, and advise everyone else to go do something they actually enjoy.
I’ve been sort of following this buzz lately, and I’m really torn. I’m a runner. I love running. I’m also a rock climber. I love climbing. And I think it’s kind of neat that Colleen mentioned both activities in her comment because there’s a difference in approach to the two sports that, I think, leads to the Stafkos of the world making the assumptions they do.
In climbing we always say that everyone has a first day, for the reasons Colleen states. It’s not assumed that everyone can climb. I’ve never, ever heard any runners approach the sport like that, I guess because we can run from the time we can walk. But we can’t. That’s why we train.
I do think, in a lot of ways, there’s a male-dominated, cultish approach to running. There’s a cult of thinness. (I’m a size 12, I live in NYC, I am usually one of the “fattest” — and phattest! — women I see running.) There’s a cult of fastness. (How many articles have I read lamenting that my 2:14 half marathon is just RUINING the sport? About 400.) There’s policing of the sport. (How many times have I had someone yell at me to “never give up” as I’m having an asthma attack running uphill? Like 40. I don’t find that encouraging. Maybe some people would but I’ve had to end runs because of how intrusive that sort of b.s. is.)
But how many runners do I love? Almost all of them that I meet. So — like Stafko — I get what the sport looks like from the outside (which is a real shame, since I’m actually a runner, but so often feel excluded because of my size, pace, and gender) but I also get that 9 out of 10 people with 26.2 bumper stickers on their cars are pretty awesome and I want to hang out with them enough that I go back to the same races year after year.
As a community, we owe it to ourselves to examine the mythology and pathos around running. Whenever I say I went for a run people say “I couldn’t even run The Mile in gym class!” That makes me so sad. Running has so much more to offer than that gym class mile. But some days, when I’m running uphill and struggling, and a really fit dude is breezing downhill and he yells, “Keep fighting!” it sort of feels like I’m still that fat (and phat!) girl in 4th grade again. Stafko’s wrong, but he’s also right.
So true on so many levels. I think what’s important to note is that running is supposed to be INTRINSIC. That’s what really bothered me about the article… I’m a one-person parade when I’m out for a run? No. In fact, I run at 11:00 pm if I can because I don’t like standing at a traffic light knowing drivers are looking at me (and also on crowded sidewalks, some people use you as either a pace bunny, or make a point of trying to “outrun” you). I 100% run for me and I couldn’t give a sh– who sees me. I might run outside on the streets in my “parade” because I live in Canada and I hate to run in snow, so when that stuff melts and I can go outside, I will be running outside.. on the streets… in plain public view. Shock.
In the winter, I run inside on a treadmill and usually the only people who see me running are the other 3-5 people that are usually in the vicinity and that’s it. I don’t care if I’m alone or the gym is packed. I’m focusing on my tunes and my pace.
Really, the whole article reads to me like this guy is jealous, angry, uneducated, and ignorant. You don’t understand something so you rant about it? And that’s supposed to be okay? What if someone didn’t understand autism so they ranted about how those autistic kids just make SO much noise? Think the WSJ would post THAT article?
One point I will make generally about runners–especially today’s breed: it’s a relatively selfish enterprise. It requires dedication, sacrifice, and a narrow-minded focus. To those who aren’t runners, this focus indicates selfishness and self-absorption. Self-obsessed, even. And in many respects, this is true. And it’s easy to see how it can come across as annoying when someone who just ran their first marathon behaves like it’s some grand achievement when there were 45,000 other people doing the exact same thing that day. And then acting like it’s “MY” marathon, when in fact it was many other people’s marathon, too. How many people who ran New York this year could name the men’s and women’s winner? Very few, I’d wager. Why? Good question. But I bet some of it has to do with that attitude of focusing more on the self, and filtering out everything else.
My favorite part of running is the community aspect – meeting people who share a passion, some of whom lap me in early morning track workouts and others who are just starting a walk/run program and who are seeking knowledge and encouragement. Maybe my view is different since I am a medium sized mid pack runner but I don’t feel excluded by the elites and I think those I encourage appreciate it – I do feel like I get more than I give from this large community. In the end I agree with you Lauren that it is about pursuing and sharing a passion – I would imagine if I were a musician and I played with and listened to orchestras I would gain the same appreciation of being part of a community.
Wow. Why do so many people like to pick on Runners and not fantasy insert any sport here? I think that people generally think that the only reason I run is to make them feel bad about themselves! I’m kidding! But only kind of. The comments I get are I could never keep up with you or run that far, well you probably could. I started run/ walking 2ish miles a day for 2 months before I could run the whole thing. I guess I just have some determination and patience. Stafko’s whole tone was mocking, and I’m not sure what his bone to pick was. I don’t have a sticker on my car, but I could it’s my car. Why not celebrate myself, then some multi-millionaire sports team with a bunch of guys I’ll never know?
Look, the guy’s just weird. He starts off talking about stickers offending him, like there aren’t a zillion worse political ones out there just begging to offend people, and then goes on to talk about running stores and how crazy it is that there is a whole store for running. And magazines for running. And so on. It reminds me a bit of when I was a young undergrad in civil engineering listening to the older kids talk about their classes and thought, “there’s a WHOLE CLASS just about dirt?” Yes, in fact dirt is very complicated, and you can get a whole PhD just studying dirt. Yeah, maybe running seems simple and why do we need to obsess over it, but the more you know about something, the more you realize there is to it.
Now if we could just talk about why so many people have golf bumper stickers (“I’d rather be driving a Titleist”…get it? get it?) and why there are whole stores devoted to golf stuff when golf is so dang boring…. 🙂
If only we could get PhDs in running… 🙂
As someone who has apologized before for my running habits I can say that I don’t think we do that because we have been put down before, but because we recognize the impressive accomplishments of the runner we are talking to and hesitant to put ourselves in the same category as someone who has such an amazing running resume. The term runner is wonderful in how broad and inclusive it is, but sometimes is difficult to call yourself the same term as an Olympian.
That article was horrible. And unfortunately by needling such a large enthusiastic group I’m afraid the author accomplished what he intended – his article got read and shared and commented on, a lot. For every guy like him that feeds on negative attention there are authors and journalists that truly recognize running for what it is, an incredible sport where you make instant friends and become a person that you can be proud of.
I just read Mark Remy’s response to the WSJ article and was laughing so hard I cried. What a sad guy living in Illinois! Thank you, Lauren, for your thoughtful, well-written blog. I love reading your posts about being a mother AND running. I almost want to start putting race stickers on my car just to start pissing off people like Stafko!
I read the article before it I realized there was a dust up about it, and honestly, it didn’t strike me as particularly offensive. Which is surprising given I founded a company that sells “26.2” tees. I had to be honest and agree that I find the stickers kind of annoying. But I find most chest thumping bumper stickers annoying. The “my kid is a Hoo Ha Prep Honor Student” stickers, the “More Wag, Less Bark” stickers, the university stickers (you went to Williams, amazing), the US states (it’s so cool you love Oregon, that’s feat), and the cloyingly happy family stick figure stickers. Upon further reflection, what it comes down to is the fundamental issue with tribes. On the inside, tribes are awesome. They’re about connecting with like minded brothers and sisters. But on the outside, they’re off putting. They’re cliquey and exclusive and holier than thou. And I guess that’s where I circle back to agreeing with you that I don’t like the judgment aspect of running tribes. And to extend that, I don’t like the health/fitness culture BS that is relentlessly, obsessively, annoyingly focused on perfection. As you so aptly pointed out in your beautiful post about what a “real runner body looks like” nobody is perfect. And so all that I would hope for is that the runner community would open its arms a bit…after all, you don’t have to have run a 13.1 or a 26.2 to be in the club. You don’t have to have the right shoes or the right clothes. All you need is curiosity and enthusiasm. And in the end, that might be what Stafko lacks. And some tolerance. I’ll try to get more myself.
I haven’t read the article, but I agree with you Sally! Although after a number of years living out of the country, I think I might have to get an “I love Washington” bumper sticker when I move back home.:)
I don’t get it: Why does this hobby come off as more offensive than (as other commenters suggested) golf, fantasy football, or knitting? All if those have their own stores, clubs, magazines, inside-joke shirts.
The WSJ piece ended with the conclusion that runners do it for the attention. And if someone prints a shirt of that, I’ll buy it. Because it’s hilarious.
But I think his column came from jealousy (hear me out). When someone attacks another person’s happiness, it’s often from envy. Stafko doesn’t get joy from running, can’t understand why others do, and so, he wants to disparage it. But he must have wanted to love it, which is why he doesn’t sufficiently explain why running pisses him off more than any other activity.
Kind of like how I’ve been known to make snarky comments about people wearing Uggs. I would feel ridiculous wearing them with skinny jeans, but dammit at my core I’m jealous of girls who pull it off.
So my main takeaway? Think twice before being snarky about something that other people find joy in, whether it’s running or karaoke or Uggs. Because if it’s not hurting anyone and it’s making people happy, tearing it down is mean and unproductive. I can do something better with my time, like run.
It sounds like mr stafko is either way to sensitive & this guy a nerve or he doesn’t have enough important things to write about. So this makes him feel better about himself? Too bad for him. I’m a runner. ..Get over it!
It sounds like mr stafko is either way to sensitive & this hit a nerve or he doesn’t have enough important things to write about. So this makes him feel better about himself? Too bad for him. I’m a runner. ..Get over it!
Lauren: I have a friend who was a sub-four-minute miler, but repeatedly commented that he wasn’t a runner, because he failed to make the US Olympic Team. It was neither an arrogant statement, nor one of humility, but of lasting profound disappointment to have come short of the primary goal of his youth. It was not the only sentiment he expressed about running, but one expressed often enough to stick in my head. Although having run for 40-years myself, and in my share of marathons back in the day, in the hierarchy of running I would also defer from describing myself as a runner in an audience with you. I get that you are a regular person, and fun too, but your running was something different from what I ever did. The same way I might not mention to Bret Favre that I played high school football. The point being that running is generic and intimately personal at the same time. How else to explain the difference in emotions between competitors a couple of seconds apart at the end of a race? Have a great time being a mom. You will raise great kids. fdr
Someone I follow ok Facebook posted this link: http://blog.mindfitmove.com/2013/10/30/which-world-do-you-belong-to/
I really like the point of the post. There is no us and them, there is just the bigger US. We don’t gain anything by separating humans into fit and healthy and unfit and out of shape. We are all doing our best, being or best people, failing on some points and succeeding on others.
Running is awesome and brings us together, other people have other hobbies and interests that bring them together.
I’ve read the original article and some of the responses and to sum it up:
1) I love running
2) running has been a great influence in my life
3) I don’t run for attention, I do it for me
4) I have a 26.2 sticker from Boston 2013 and if it wasn’t from THAT race I would have never put it on
5) most runners are humble nice people
6) the ones that aren’t humble nice people weren’t nice people beforehand and running didn’t impact that
7) no one likes someone who talks about how great they are or what they choose to do is. This goes for yoga, crossfit, lifting, religion, not watching TV, anything.
Perfection. Great list!
I come at this from a different angle. I’ve been running for just a year. I spend quite a bit of time each week on an online forum telling people starting C25k that they are, in fact, real runners. I post the blog post “hey, fat girl” regularly. I’ve been on both sides of the fence. I’ve been the girl with the abs in the gym. But after several years and two kids, I was 215+ pounds and unable to walk a 5k when I did week 1, day 1 of Couch to 5k. I was ashamed. I told myself that all my neighbors would look at me and wait for me to fail.
Now, had I ever experienced that attitude directed at me? No. Had I ever looked at an overweight person in the gym and judged them? No. I was excited for them. It was strictly my feelings about how I had failed myself being projected on to others.
With support, I accepted myself as a “runner” but I didn’t actually call myself that for a long time. I’d say “I started C25k in November” or “I finished Couch to 5k in January” or “I ran a 10k in June”. I don’t know what finally allowed me to think of myself as a runner. Eventually I just stopped worrying about it. Eventually there became a time when I wasn’t running to lose weight or burn calorie or get in shape. I just run because I’m a runner.
I love running and the running community – I just don’t like those stickers. I made a sticker that says “?.? – Don’t Brag Just Run”
Still no reason for a snarky article. Sounds like the guy has too much time thinking about others’ accomplishments and not enough time on his own.
The defense of the indefensible– in this case adults plastering their vehicles with “xx.x” stickers is amusing to me– reminds me of the religious defending absolutely ANYTHING religious, with misappropriation, misinterpretation and straw man contentions that really have nothing to do with the real issue(s). Go figure.
Putting stickers on your car to note you have run a given distance is LAME. Simple as that. Someone can assert all the usual verbal (ok, in this case, textual) diarrhea that it’s something else, but it’s not.
I can bench press 450lbs and dead lift 600lbs (and run sub 7 minute miles) and I can GUARANTEE you far, far less can do either vs running a marathon, yet it would NEVER occur to me to put a “450lbs” or “600lbs” sticker on anything I own. Why? Because it’s self-orientated, self-promoting, small, and again, LAME. And people would rightly feel the same the SECOND I gave them an explanation…and it would only be worsened when I supplied some, phony, ridiculous explanation of “well, it’s for others– you know, we’re like a club”. Absurd.
What should really awaken people to this nonsense is it is nearly EXCLUSIVE to running. Consider the fact? Seriously, what other activity affords “measuring stick” stickers for vehicles? But don’t fear, cycling, climbing and all of these other “look at me!” primarily middle-age white person hipster activities will soon follow…what a mountain logo emblazoned with 5, 10, 15 or 20K for all the REI drones?
Now that would be something! Stickers denoting that you’re part of a “climbing club”.
You know, so you can identify with other people as lame and socially desperate as you are.
Oh wait, it’s really not about that and something much more profound and authentic.
Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night.
Thank you for speaking the truth! Anyone who puts such a silly sticker on their vehicle is just seeking to suggest to the world that they think they are special or otherwise accomplished. It’s a lame bid for attention. People find them annoying simply because they are, not because they themselves are not runners or athletically inclined.