For Immediate Release (via Fleshmom and the Aviator)
TINY BABY COMPLETES FIRST RACE
Bend, OR, USA – Jude Eiger Thomas (JET) completed his first triathlon when he successfully exited mother Lauren Fleshman’s womb at 10:03pm on June 10, 2013. His official time was 9 months, 3 days, and 16 rather painful final hours.
Unlike his father Jesse Thomas, Jude is an exceptional swimmer. He was the first competitor through the water, besting anywhere from 20 to 50 million other competitors in the process. Do to incredibly wet conditions, race organizers swapped the bike ride for a 9 month aqua jog. Jude stayed calm and jogged well, but was given a few penalties from mom for repeatedly and painfully pushing the limits of his aquajogging station. He snapped back though. Just like dad, he finished with a big run, winding his way successfully to the finish line through the tight, circuitous, and incredibly confusing course despite race organizers declining to provide him with a lead vehicle.
Jude may have over hydrated and over fueled, because he somehow grew roughly 21″ in length and gained 7lbs 11oz DURING the competition. His mother and father are super proud and happy. Mother is doing fantastic, especially considering she ventured to new levels of pain that greatly exceeded any and all previous athletic endeavors.
Jude was super psyched to finally finish his first race 100% healthy and happy. Though there were no other witnesses, his father swore he heard him say “Booyah” as he crossed the finish line. He quickly latched on to lots of recovery drink followed by sleeping and plenty of pooping. He wants to thank everyone who supported him from a little Lima Bean all the way to fully developed, but still tiny, bad ass mofo.
Jude unfortunately was disqualified from his first race for “passing on the inside”. No video replay is available to substantiate the infraction.
On appeal he was reinstated when it was discovered he was dragging a weight behind him equal to half his body weight. One judge remarked “anyone who can compete with a rope attached to their belly button deserves an official time”.
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Lauren-
Got this via an oregonlive link- I knew Jesse back in middle-high school so please pass my congrats on to him…you as well. Good luck in your parenthood and careers!
absoutely, unbelievably GORGEOUS! What a betfuiual family. Michelle, great job once again! I truly LOVE looking at your work!!!!!! Our next session needs to be outdoors!
What a delightful narrative of little Jude’s life in the womb and entry into life at the finish line.
He is BEAUTIFUL! Congratulations to all!
What an awesome blog entry!! You never disappoint. I hope the newly crowned champion is letting you sleep.
And yeah, once you are done with athletics, please become a writer. I promise I’ll buy absolutely anything you write 🙂
Wow, what great pics of all of you…you all look like you just got in from an easy 3 mile jog. Having been the father of 4, I know that’s not true at all. Congrats to you…loved your story and the nickname of “Jet”…how cool is that! Way to go…both of you are going to be great parents…after all it’s not freaking science! Just totally unconditional love…Booyah!
I don’t know how these flowcharts work but there are some lcyris missing, such as the minute you let her under your skin, then you’ll begin to make it better . And what about and any time you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain ?
So excited for you guys! He is way super cute!!! Rest, recover and enjoy your new family!
This must be the cutest birth update ever. 🙂 Adorable!
Simply awesome! Great way to put it! Congrats mom and dad! Enjoy… they grow way too fast!
Congratulations to all three of you!
AWESOME. Congratulations!
Fan-Freakin’-TAStic! Congratulations to you and your family! You look so happy!
Lauren!
I love your writing. I can’t get enough of your humor! I have been interviewing athlete moms on the births of their littles and would love to “meet” you and explain more. How can we connect?
Lisa
Hi Lisa,
Feel free to use content from my blog with appropriate citation for your book. I wrote extensively about my birth experience! Best of luck with your book.
Lauren
probably remember this adolabre redhead from his one-year session, or maybe his six-month session, or even his newborn session (which was one of our very first paid
Started to read your blog not so long ago. You are a true inspiration to me, love everything you do and the fact that you are transparent with your whole life. Your baby is more then adorable! Thank you!