Eleven weeks (+/-) to go before this baby claims its very own three-dimensional space on Earth. To provide some context, this is what I look like right now with very little clothing:
And that’s why we pregnant people prefer to wear clothes. Big clothes. This next photo was taken minutes later, and voilà! This is exactly how I always look after going to Chipotle.
General Observations:
If my pregnant life were an ice cream sunday recipe, it would be three scoops of exhilaration and one scoop of terrified, drizzled with foggy confusion, and topped off with spontaneous sprinklings of f#@*ing exhausted. “FOUR SCOOPS?!” you say? I may have misjudged. Add another scoop of “what the hell is happening to my body” in there.
Muscles + Convex stomach expansion =
Those abs that everyone teases me about from the cover of Runners’ World don’t do “pregnant” very well. The individual abs that once formed a neatly rowed six-pack dispersed into separate lumps resembling fig newtons strewn atop a bosu ball. It wasn’t until I hit seven months that the newtons finally atrophied completely, allowing me to trade in my tent shirts for more fitted options befitting a smoother dome.
Super-Nose
One cool thing about pregnancy that happens immediately is a super-human sense of smell. It’s like you’re a character in X Men, experiencing the world in an enhanced way. At first I thought I could use my skill to better mankind, or at the very least, finally detect some of those “subtle notes” that winos are always going on about. But then I remembered wine is not part of the pregnancy diet. Furthermore, one week of super-nose showed me that the world is full of WAY more disgusting scents than pleasant ones. An “inferior” nose is what allows you to focus on the words coming out of your friends’ mouths, rather than their death breath. A normal nose allows you to appreciate the historic districts of cities without being distracted by their urination history. Unless you are a crime scene investigator or work for the DEA, this super-power is no bueno.
Always use Google first
Weird shit happens when you are pregnant. Normal experiences are amplified to the point where you are convinced there is a problem. A tendency to get a tight neck in your normal life comes on like a fractured spine when pregnant. If I had used google, I could have saved myself a trip to the orthopedist. When I started sneezing LITERALLY 150 times a day and my nose turned into a faucet in what appeared to be EXTREME allergies, I spent four hours cleaning my house. When that didn’t work, I hired professional house cleaners. When that didn’t work, I hired professional carpet cleaners. And when that didn’t work, after writhing on the carpet in a tantrum of frustration, I decided to google “pregnancy and allergies” only to discover that 20-30% of women suffer from what is called pregnancy rhinitis, which described my symptoms to the tee. Lesson learned.
My husband has a secret protective side
Jesse and I have an extremely relaxed relationship when it comes to restricting one another’s activities. If he wants to ride his bike on an icy road at midnight, that’s his prerogative. I don’t let my mind worry. And Jesse has always treated me the same way…until I got pregnant. I want to go for a run at dusk? Mr. Thomas suddenly has a very strong opinion on the subject. I’m not talking about one of those suggestive comments like “are you sure that is safe?” Picture instead Jesse in overalls waving his pitchfork saying “WOMAN!! You think you goin runnin out thar with my baby?! Have you gone lost yur mind?!” I’m surprised by this, and sometimes I wave my iron skillet back at him, but mostly I’m relieved to see that even though he isn’t physically effected by pregnancy, something very real is happening in that head of his that is prepping him for parenthood, and I like it.
Running isn’t that bad
I thought that running with a 20 pound weight vest would be awful, and that my stomach would be jiggling around like an un-bound enormous third boob, but the baby is cradled in the pelvis nice and snug, and my legs have grown stronger to accommodate the weight gradually.
Sure I have to pee every ten minutes, my back seizes up now and then forcing me to take a day off, and my running pace has decreased by over a minute per mile, but running is still something I really look forward to. Since I decided to opt out of any kind of heroic pregnancy training plan, it doesn’t bother me to only run 4-5 days a week, and take walk breaks now and then. Except for those times when it really bothers me.
The key has been listening to my body, running with friends that make me focus on having fun, and wearing running gear that expands well and doesn’t make you feel like a fat cow. My next blog I’ll do a gear rundown on my favorite pregnancy pieces for anyone who is curious. Until then, go power up a hill for me, or run 6 miles without stopping. Fleshman signing off!
Haha! Keep ’em coming, Lauren! This one had me laughing out loud, especially with the part about Jesse and the pitchfork. That’s my husband already! I love hearing about your pregnancy, because it’s something I am so excited to experience but am terrified how it’s going to effect my body and my running. It’s such a relief to see and hear about another competitive runner going through it and that it’s not all bad. 🙂 I’m so excited for you and look forward to hearing more! You look adorable!
I’m not gonna lie, I’m scared shitless half the time! But it’s not so bad 🙂
I didn’t know Jesse was from Arkansas!
little known “fact.”
Although it truly is one of the weirdest things to experience, even the yucky stuff is pretty cool. It sounds like you’re enjoying it. Happy third trimester!
Thanks Salty. Never shy away from weird and wacky right?
Lauren, Steph and Jesse,The bars are great. It is so hard to find gluten free that tteass good. I was glad Janna and Gary had some to taste. I have been looking for high prOtein and low fat, these do a pretty good job, and definitely the best taste I have found. I usually order from another bar company and even though they work and have a variety of flavors not the best in taste. Thanks for you hard work and best of luck
Awesome! I absolutely loved this post; my mom ran when she was pregnant with me and then again when she was pregnant with my sister. Everyone had the same reaction about her running while pregnant–my dad was just as paranoid. She ran right up until the day she gave birth–which included running a 7-minute mile race, beating a few high school girls (she is quite proud of this haha).
Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy; I love the updates, especially because you write well too! 🙂
Thanks Rachael! Cool about your mom. That’s encouraging. At this point, I consider every day I can run a lucky day. Crossing fingers I can make it a few more weeks.
You describe my life to a tee! I’m a week behind you and I’m waiting for the lumps on my bump to smooth out and I can smell my way home on a foggy day. You look great and I’m beyond jealous you can run with such ease. Good luck in that third trimester!
“Smell my way home on a foggy day” is pretty hilarious. For real! I have to say, having this bump start looking smoother is a confidence booster. It has a little ways to go still, but I’m starting to “wear it” with pride 🙂
Congrats and thanks for the post. Please please please, in the rundown on pregnancy pieces, include info on running attire. Mama to-be has been looking for pregnancy running shorts/tops and is not happy by what she’s seen so far. (She’s about 12 weeks behind you.)
Also, if Jesse could send me the website of the pitchfork store, that would help me!
Thanks.
Get your pitchfork at your local feed store. Don’t bother with the cadillac model, it decreases the effectiveness of your rant. As for gear, don’t you worry, I’ll include apparel for sure. That makes all the difference when you are feeling like an elephant seal.
Not-pregnant-me would kill for Pregnant Lauren’s arms. That’s all.
seconded 😉
🙂
Well done. Well. Done.
Oh stop.
Beautiful as always.
Thanks Lonn.
“jiggling like an un-bound enormous third boob” – classic!
Glad to hear you’re enjoy it all!
Well I don’t know if I’d say “all” 🙂 but…
At the very least, I’m getting my laughs in.
Obviously as a man I will never walk a mile in your Mommy shoes and can’t really relate to what you’re experiencing. But… as a three time Dad and two time GRAND DAD I can only smile at your musings. Brings back the warm, loving memories, the blood, sweat, tears and overwhelming feelings of love that I never, EVER thought were in me. My dear… you and Daddy are in for a treat. Cherish every moment and take a ton of pictures so you can embarrass her when she’s in High School!
Thanks Carlos!
Wow that baby growing inside of you is going to be one lucky kid.
We shall see. I’m hoping my tendency to lose my keys and wallet and laptop and running shoes doesn’t apply to babies.
This is the best part!! Soak it all in. And get that bag ready. Both of mine came early (3 and 4 weeks). You never know. 🙂 Best of luck!
I just had a heart attack.
I’m on it!
Way to rock the pregnant mama look!
What can I say…took months of preparation.
I’m glad you’re still able to run! I was curious as to how that was going to go. I’ve known people who had to stop after 25 weeks or so because it felt uncomfortable (even with a support belt) and I’ve also known people who have run up until delivery. Do you think there is anything that contributes to running still feeling ok (good abs before = strong girdle for expanding uterus) or mainly luck?
I’m guessing it’s luck. A larger percentage of my pro runner peers made it later into the pregnancy running than my recreational runner peers overall, but there have been representatives from both groups. That could be just a factor of my sample size, or it could be that more pro runners are fanatical and willing to be uncomfortable because it’s their job to compete not long after birth, or that there is some additional muscle strength in the legs and core of pro runners as a factor of their intense training before pregnancy that helps them go a bit longer on average? Could be any, all, or none of those. I know that if I weren’t obsessed with running, I’d probably have stopped once I started having to pee every 7-10 minutes. The thing that keeps me going is that I feel highly motivated to build my VO2 max and build my tendon and muscle strength while running with this larger body of mine so I can improve post-baby. That, and the fact that even interrupted running is my favorite sport, and every low-risk pregnant woman is told to do some kind of exercise for general health.
I just spit out my tea laughing at the image of your husband in overalls with a pitchfork speaking like that. I have had visions of my husband doing that as well when I eventually decide I’m ready for pregnancy. ha. Granted. . . he is from the country. . .
found the blog via way of Oiselle. Love. thanks for the laugh and congrats on your pregnancy 🙂
Happy to have you on ALF and thanks for the comment! Watching Jesse grow and change is probably my favorite part of being pregnant. Even when it involves farm equipment.
Don’t even get me started on pregnancy and abs. I had to have 2 c-sections and my abs did not fuse back together after being sliced. Craptastic.
Love your blog….I always look forward to that little email that tells me you’ve got another post. You are totally absolutely a gifted writer! I love that the way you right is very conversational…almost like we’re friends. But we’re not. You are Lauren F’n Fleshman!
Hahaha, thanks Jo. We may not be “friends” per say, but we be homeboys in the running world :).
As a fellow Oiselle Bird pregnant with numero uno, I really love reading your posts. I can’t wait for the gear one next!!! I found when I googled things about pregnancy, I always found these doomsday, worst-case scenarios that just made me doubt everything I was doing. I love that you have the confidence to rock that sports bra and shorts look! I don’t know if I would… You are amazing and such a great role model to so many women! Thanks for just being you! 🙂
Let me be clear, I do NOT rock the shorts and high ten sports bra look in public. That is only for studio photography that is shared with millions of people.
Gear blog is a comin luv. Glad we are flying prego together!
Truth: I am insanely jealous of you being ~3 months ahead of me right now. You always have to beat me, don’t ya? Except that one time….
But, anyway, I have to say that you look amazing. If I decide to ever post such a picture, I am going to have to do some photoshop liposuction.
Ok, now I’m off to Google “stabbing pains in my ribcage.”
I want to see that damn bump, so don’t go hiding that business. A girl needs some camaraderie. I’m relying on you to see how far I’ve come. And of course I’m relying on your blog for good entertainment. 1:31 half marathon pregnant is insane by the way. http://lesleyhiggins.com
I sent your article to my niece who is due in a month. I posted on my Facebook page last week the following
“My day so far. Swim in the morning, followed by a bike ride, followed by a lunch of chopstick chicken, followed by the purchase of a breast pump”
I’ll be a great uncle soon, loving it. Love your blog all the way from Vancouver, BC
Thanks George! Wish your niece good luck from me. Sounds like we’d get along.
Lauren – this post just made my day. I am 20 weeks knocked up and can smell a fart from a mile away. It is great to hear about your runnning – I use it as motivation as I continue to get larger by the second. Thanks.
Thanks for posting Margaret. Good luck with the pregnancy! At 20 weeks I remember feeling like things weren’t happening fast enough, and at 29 weeks I’m like, “SLOW DOWN!” I recommend getting shit done now if you can make the time. It gets harder when the basketball is sticking out farther. 🙂
pregnancy is an astonishing experience. But dude that baby is going to double in size so prepare for the crushed lung pug snuffles.
hahahahaha! Love that.
You are a breathe of fresh air. I am 81 years young and so enjoy reading your blog
of course i have followed you since high school with Leanne Anxious about the baby boy or girl ? Keep writing
hugs
Thanks Thelma! Can I just tell you for a second how excited I am to have an internet savvy octogenarian reader?! You just motivated me big time! Love to the Riggin family. Your granddaughters really are something special.
You look awesome! Keep up the great running. The urge to pee gets annoying and your lower back may start to bother you more. However, it’s all worth it because ultimately the running is good for both mommy and baby.
Thanks Kim. It seems like a day off every three or four days seems to help take a small back ache and make it disappear for another few days. It’s really happening…wow.
LAUREN YOU ARE DA BOMB AND DA BOMB DIGGITY AND NOW YOU’Z THE BOMB DIGGITY BELLY BOOYAH. I WORSHIP YOU FOR REALZ AND WOULD LIKE TO OFFER MY BABY JOGGER PUSHING SERVICES WHEN LIMA BEANZ IS BIG AND JESSE’S BUSY DOIN DAT TRI STUFF AND BRINGIN’ HOME DOLLAHS!
Big Balls McGhee,
You can push my baby jogger anytime.
Smooches,
Bomb Diggity Belly Booyah
Ah yes, I remember the pregnancy super smeller, going for a walk in my neighborhood and the smell of dog urine so strong I had to hurl in a bush. Being a mom is not for weak at heart. I know you don’t feel yourself right now but, your baby bump is beautiful and you look incredible!
Thanks Lisa,
Yep, “not feeling myself right now” is a great way to put it. There are moments when I feel like me, but most of the time the me I’m used to feels just out of reach. Good to know that’s normal.
LOL! You are hilarious, Lauren. 🙂
Thanks Arun
illuminating, as usual. ….You look great pregnant!
Thanks Kathy
Incredible post Lauren, thank you for being so inspiring and likewise, hilarious. Can’t wait for the post on your favorite pregnancy pieces. I love Oiselle and my husband owns a running store, so…I’m really looking forward to hearing about what I can wear while running and simultaneously expanding.
hahahah – the “Always Google Everything First” was hysterical. I think I have to bookmark this page for 10 years in the future.
Also I thought you would like this: http://www.brit.co/baby-onesies/
YAY! Love this post. I’m 20 weeks preggers and I keep telling my husband how much I want this bump to really EXPAND and smooth out so I can wear tight stuff. For now I’m running in old T-shirts because right now it pretty much looks like I’ve been eating a pint of ice cream every night rather then incubating a little human.
I’m still running 6 days a week and not having to take walk breaks yet, but it’s good to know that even the pro’s slow down a bit! I am trying to take the same approach as you and not let it bother me at all as I get slower. Some days that works out fine, some days not so fine. Nice to know that it bothers you just a bit as well 😉 Hey, we are only human!
Can’t wait to see your post about running apparel!
Wow, I am only 8 weeks pregnant and my running pace has already slowed over a minute per mile! I’m also so exhausted I have been skipping a lot of runs. I hope this improves for me after the first trimester. Thanks for inspiring me to keep going!
Re: convex abs…Your thighs are CUT, honey. (jealous) You look fantastic.
Hi Lauren,
I love reading everything you write. I miss seeing you and/or Jesse and/or your Picky Bar van during my bicycle commute along D St. Best wishes to you both (all three) during the next several months, and I look forward to seeing you in Eugene again, on the track at Hayward!
Congrats on being in the home stretch! I’m 28 weeks pregnant and a runner too, with one bad-a$$ case of pregnancy rhinitis. During my long run today I had a 20+ sneezes sneezing fit in a port-potty and my nose has been keeping me up all night. Have you found anything to help? Love the blog, keep it up!
I would love to read more about your running throughout your pregnancy. When I was pregnant I found it *really* difficult to find information about running that wasn’t geared toward the most general audiences (thus erring on the very very cautious side. One running friend’s Dr. even told her not to run because the blood that would go to her recovering muscles would be detrimental to the baby’s growth. That just sounds like outdated 1950s medical knowledge to me). There was virtually no information geared toward women who are used to running regularly and at a decent pace. It would be great to read more details about your running, mileage, pace, how you felt, etc. Thanks!
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I’m pregnant with my second and curious about how hard you trained while you were pregnant. I ran all the way through my first pregnancy, but since it was my first, I was pretty conservative about my training and mostly just got out for easy runs. This time around I’m coming off of a track season of lots of racing and am in much better shape.
I’d love your thoughts on how long you can keep up things like weight training, speed work, and hills. Obviously I’m scaling things back because my body feels like I need to, but I’d like to keep up whatever I can (safely, of course). I’ve found that there aren’t too many women out there who run through pregnancy, so I’d appreciate any thoughts you have!
Great blog you have here but I was curious if you knew of any community forums that cover the same topics discussed here? I’d really like to be a part of group where I can get opinions from other knowledgeable individuals that share the same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Thank you!
I believe one of your ads triggered my web browser to resize, you might want to put that on your blacklist.