Jude was born four Monday’s ago, but honestly it has felt like 28 Mondays have passed since he popped out. Every day I wake up to the sound of grunting and I’m like “Holy shit, I’m a mom. That grunting baby noise is MY baby. Time to kick it into gear!” I wonder when it will start to feel like I’m catching some momentum, some hint of a rhythm, when the morning feels like a Tuesday, or even a (gasp) Wednesday.
For now, I honestly have no freaking clue what I’m doing. Most of the time biology takes over and things just seem to happen, and Jesse and I just react. Every once in a while we try to solve him like a puzzle and then realize that the puzzle is made of only sky, or more accurately, solid white pieces of the matrix.
People try to prepare you for having a kid, but even they will tell you, there is no way to really explain what it’s like. It’s like trying to truly comprehend how far away the sun is from Earth, or describe God. Words fail. But one thing everyone says is that it is incredible, better than you can possibly imagine…and it’s fucking hard. Check. Check.
Jude is a pretty awesome baby. He is very advanced. For example, even though his body weight is a mere 5% that of his dad, his farts are already of equal volume. It’s quite remarkable. He’s a night owl like his mom, AND a morning person like his dad. Who DOES that?! It’s super human really.
The hardest part for me is the sleep. I have never been a good napper and Jude gets up every 1-2.5 hours. But 4-6 hours a day of interrupted sleep is not sustainable. It is, on the other hand, perfect preparation for a method actor who wants to star in “The Exorcist,” which I unfortunately don’t have time for at the moment. Eventually, one gets exhausted enough to sleep anywhere, anytime, and I just reached that point yesterday. It’s all gravy from here.
The Body Transformation
So how about training? What’s going on for Lauren-the-athlete? Well, take a seat. Actually, get up and dispose of any weapons or sharp objects and then sit back down because based on the stink eye I’ve received from a few women around town, you may want to kill me after you read this. I’ve bounced back pretty quick. I’m one of those women. I didn’t mean to I swear. Many of you have already been giving me shit on the twitters, (the mock hate tweets are hilarious) so thanks for that. I still have a lot of work to do to become a world class athlete again, but I’m pretty amazed with how things have gone so far.
Above: Me at 3 weeks post delivery, 139 pounds, starting my rehab program on the UltraSlide. The pelvis is the highest risk area after childbirth.
The body is an amazing thing
I didn’t mean to bounce back so fast, I swear. I had the best of intentions of turning into a tangled mess of atrophied muscles coated in crisco applying for next season of the biggest loser to inspire millions with my comeback, but it just didn’t pan out. It’s not that I don’t have any work to do, but the first 90% happened pretty quick. These are the reasons I think things have gone pretty smoothly so far:
- I was in really good shape before I got pregnant
- I stayed super active through pregnancy aerobically (ElliptiGo, running about 4 days a week til 32 weeks, hiking)
- I lifted weights throughout…like REAL weights (thanks John Ball).
- I had body work every few weeks (massage, fixing scar tissue, etc).
- I didn’t have food cravings other than OJ. If I wanted ice cream as much as OJ, this would be a different story (again see #1).
- Most of my weight gain ended up being water weight, so that comes off really fast.
I’m about 7 pounds over my normal training weight, and 10-12 pounds over racing weight. But here’s the deal, weight isn’t everything. If skinny were the most important thing to running fast, runway models would be our Olympians. When it comes to real athleticism and performance…I have a LONG way to go, so it’s time to do the work!
I’m beginning what I’m calling #flyerbootcamp, which is a training regimen to build my body from the ground up, and I want to invite you to join me. Through twitter, this ALF blog, and my column “The Fast Life” on Runner’s World, I’ll post videos and photos to share what I’m up to. I’ll still post about other stuff too of course, but I’ll label appropriate things with the hashtag above. Join the Fleshman Flyers to be sure to stay up to date.
Some initial pics to show phase one:
If you have any tips to add for a healthy post-partum recovery, please add them in the comments! Much appreciated. Special thanks to the birds at Oiselle (including all three grandmas) for seeing me through this journey, and going out of your way to help me out and teach me your mom tricks. And if you are up for #flyerbootcamp, also let me know below! Peace out. -Fleshman.