This shouldn’t come as a shock to you when I say at some point in the next four years I want to have a kid. Over 30, married five years, obsessed with your baby…it adds up. And since it’s after an Olympic year, any woman over 26 that you’ve seen running on TV is probably thinking it over right now as well. Since the day after her season ended, she’s been getting inundated with not-so-subtle questions from family and friends (and total strangers) about her baby plans, and trying to imagine a scenario that is not career destroying (and then feeling guilty for thinking about her career).
All women have their career complications, and I’d love to hear about them to be honest, but I only know about this one career, so I’ll tell you what I’ve learned over the past 10 years. Young people listen up…this could be your life one day.
Olympic Sport athletes think in four year cycles. Most put it off until around 30-35, but eventually if you want a family, you have to, well, do it. You can wait until you retire, and not worry about how it affects your running career at all, but if you still have the passion and the fast times in you, you need to strategize.
So that’s what I’m doing: strategizing. And in doing so, I’ve decided being a female distance runner is freaking weird.
Timing is Everything:
Us ladies can’t just have a baby all willy nilly. Forget the biological clock; if the Olympics is part of your dream, you have to consult with the boss first: the Olympic Calendar.
The majority of women do it in the “off year,” which is smack dab between Olympics. It comes once every four years, has lots of great races, but no major championship like a Worlds or Olympics. Option two is immediately after an Olympic Year (like this year). You miss a World Championships which has big financial ramifications, but get the next three years to build back. Either way you choose it, you better hope your pipes work in the first few months of your off season because the clock is a’ticking. Miss your window and you have to wait.
Four things you may not know about Pro Runners and Pregnancy (the truth):
1. Finances:
Many (I’d estimate 85%) of sponsorship contracts get suspended for a year (read: no payment). The reasoning is, she can’t do her job (race/represent the brand) when she is pregnant. You don’t get prize money if you don’t race either. Now you are pregnant and poor! Yippee! Time to whip out that lengthy resume (not), slap on some Spanx, and start applying for jobs!
2. Benefits:
Runners are independent contractors, and are not “employees” of any company and therefore have no benefits. Maternity leave? Health insurance? Hahahahahahaha! Good one. Even if you pay for really good insurance yourself, you can still end up paying a couple G’s in bills.
3. Fatness:
From what I’ve heard from my runner friends, 10% body fat from track season isn’t exactly fertile ground. To have a baby you have to be less active, quickly grow some rolls, get pregnant (which can be difficult even for people who don’t have a history of ammennorhea,) spend 9.5 months pregnant, and then go on a crash course to get your body back. We’re talking 12-16 months of VLT (voluntary largeness time). A runner’s job is her body. Imagine if singers lost their voice when they were pregnant? Or painters went blind? You’d think pretty hard about it wouldn’t you? Keep in mind for a pro athlete, “getting your body back” means back to that already impossible form it was in beforehand. If people aren’t saying “Oh my God! You look like you never had a baby!” within 12 months of getting knocked up, you’re behind schedule.
4. No Man’s Land:
While one could fill the bottomless basement of Gringots Wizard Bank with research and books about training for performance, good luck finding ONE about “optimal training for pregnant professional runners that gets you back to work as fast as possible while optimally growing a human.” From what I’ve seen with my runner friends, your best bet is to just call another pro-runner and ask “So…I know we usually spit fire at one another at races and are barely acquaintances, but what did you do when you were pregnant? Can you help me out?”
So by now you’re probably saying “That sounds amazing, Lauren! You should totally think about having a baby!” I HEAR you, dear reader. With a profession so well suited to child rearing, it’s shocking I don’t have three already! Well, it’s either this year, next year, or after the next Olympics. Along with everyone else, I’ll be thinking it over.
Bonus Material: Sh*t Pro Runner Girls Say About Babies
When’s the best timing?
What if I can’t get pregnant?
Should I get fertility help right away to make sure I get pregnant quickly so I don’t waste valuable training time?
Will I lose my contract?
Do I have enough money saved?
Which job should I apply for at the mall?
What will I miss out on athletically?
Can I train through it?
Will the baby fall out?
Can I bounce back?
Will I get mommy super powers like Kara Goucher?
What’s the return policy?
Lauren! Even non-pros worry about a lot of this stuff. We talk about it from time to time on Salty Running. I’m living through it now (running through pregnancy), in fact. To talk about the topic from your perspective really validates a lot of what us hobbyists feel. It’s hard to lend your body that you worked so hard for even to the cutest among us.
I wish you all the best in making this decision, but seeing as the “what if I can’t get pregnant” is one of the top worries, I would counsel on going for the soonest option you can stomach. And then you’ll have the added bonus of being able to spit our more kiddos before your child-bearing window closes if you want. It’s one of those things that is a hard decision rationally, but once you have your child it seems like it was the easiest decision you ever made. Good luck!!!
Exciting to hear you’re considering it! I’m just a non-pro marathoner/ultra-marathoner, 6.5 months along– and it’s still tough not being the pre-pregnant running me right now. There went my body, that ego-boosting knowledge that I could go run 20+ miles any given day, my social hangout time with my running buddies, sigh. I went into this convinced I would run the while time, gain 20 pounds, and bounce back no prob. Well- after a first trimester feeling post-bachelorette-party hungover every day for 8 weeks (translated- very little running), I started out again only to discover every run would be alone (speed dropped & I’m not going to ask my running friends to drop 3 minutes/mile pace for me), I had to plan runs where I could pee every mile (fun times!), and I had to carry my big water bottle because I’d drink 20 oz on a freaking 4-mile run. So about six weeks ago, I said done with the “running,” I’m going to walk/hike (running friends will come out for a hike!) because I wasn’t getting an iota of what I enjoy about running. I guess I’m no Kara Goucher
Not to sound all boohoo, because you know what? When I feel this little girl kick me, I know I’m growing a healthy baby in there and I also feel the running me (who still has some pr’s ahead) clawing at the gate ready to hit it again. I know you’ve got way more pressure to perform- but you’ll have a bigger cheering section, and a sweet little face to motivate you to go faster around that track to hug at the end of the race. Good luck!
Thanks for posting Miriam! Sounds like you have a great attitude despite not having the “dream pregnancy” so far. Hiking is an excellent idea.
Thanks for sharing what you know Salty! Make sure you guys check out her website and blog: http://www.saltyrunning.com/.
There are a TON of women making these big decisions outside my tiny pro athlete realm, and it makes me feel better that so much of this is broadly experienced.
AHHHhahahaha! This is so perfect! My biological clock is ticking as well. I just turned 28 and my husband is 36. People’s jaws drop when I tell them we might have to wait four years! It gets old, and they will never understand. Thanks for a great article.
Thanks for posting Suzanne! Yeah, it’s pretty weird
oh sister, do i hear ya! I agree with Salty that each and every athletic woman goes through this when considering wee ones. Women are still faced with too many impossibly difficult choices – *that to our credit we make anyways* – and adding a pro career in the mix = acarumba! I honestly can’t wait for the day a wise company steps up to the plate and says they’ll support pro women through pregnancies in their careers – because its the right thing to do, with the added bonus of the positive boost it would be for us average ladies. For what its worth, I’m sure when the time is right, you and Jesse would uber cute superbabies!
Amanda, thanks for your comment! Nobody said it would be easy, but I do remember being told we could have it all.
In the words of Liz Lemon, ” Murphy Brown LIED to us!!”
I would say: just do it:)
(one should think they understand such philosophy at nike…)
hahaha, thanks Saar
Keep up the amazing, insightful, courageous blog entries, Lauren. You’re a unique and important voice in our times!!!!
Thanks. I’ll try.
A lot of what you’re seeing/feeling we non-career-runners think about too. But yes, other things hit closer to home for you since your job and your baby are going after the same resource: your body.
I was amazed at how Kara pulled it off. I don’t know if you can hook up with her or another new running mom to get some of the inside scoop. This is what I would do (after working up some courage) if I had a question about my next possible job: use my network (probably my professional society) and make some phone calls. Really, any mom would be more than happy to talk to a (potential) new mom in the same work field to discuss the ins and outs Having children is such a tremendous joy.
A lot of women run far into their pregnancies. I’m not sure how much alter-G or pool running goes on with pros, I guess I figured the extra support of staff would guide her through it, being careful of weight gain and keeping moving in whatever mode is needed.
At the end of it all it’s about healthy baby and healthy mom. I had to hang my shoes up for 17 months (rare).
There are physical benefits to pregnancy that you carry after the baby is born. You have extra blood supply because you were supporting 2 lives. (No, you don’t lose it all when you have the baby.) Your heart beats more efficiently, (volume/stroke) because it’s been moving extra blood around for months. Your lungs lose volume as the baby grows, but after, they’re really good and efficient with the new space, so oxygen transport benefits, too. So there are definite positive changes that stick around for months after the little one arrives!
Best of luck in whatever you decide. Being a mom is the greatest thing ever.
Thanks Becky. You are right. These issues extend far beyond pro runners. Luckily the benefits come to all that push go
.
As usual, thanks for entertaining us, while writing the truth. Especially like “voluntary largeness time.” It sounds like you guys have some exciting times ahead. Not only does the U.S. make it hard for women to be mothers and employees, but man, it sounds like professional running makes it seem nearly impossible. But I guess that comes with the territory of your job being your body and vice versa. Alas, I’m excited to see what a little Flomas will look like!!
We certainly live in a not-so-family-friendly industrialized nation. I remember being shocked when I learned about parental leave in other nations. We can’t be awesome at everything I guess
I enjoyed reading your thoughts! It’s pretty cool for you to just throw it out there like that. It seems like your main concerns are with the logistics of getting pregnant, giving birth, and getting back to training. Yet in your particular situation it seems like life as a Mom may pose even greater challenges. What will happen to Jesse’s training and racing? Are you guys physically/geographically together enough to be the kind of parents and family unit that you’re happy with? Most people, even those with very demanding careers, can deal with having an infant and still be very effective at work when physically way less than 100%. That’s not an option for you. Do you have the family or financial resources to make sure you’re not the one staying up all night? Are you ok with letting someone else do that? Are you ok not breastfeeding (assuming this can’t last long when you return to elite level training)?
Jeff, I would like to retroactively add all of your questions to my blog under the section: “More reasons why it is scary as shit to have a kid.”
In terms of money, I can’t imagine any running store would turn down your offer to work for them. I mean, c’mon. Lauren Freaking Fleshman?!?! I’d pay extra to have you help me buy kicks!!! I suppose that could only happen if you get booted from Nike though, eh? Bogus.
I know you two will come to the right decision when you’re ready. Whenever you decide to start, don’t get too stressed about it. You want to keep the “process” fun:)
Why can’t I ‘like’ comments?
Thanks Jess.
Funny you should write this! I was thinking about you the other day, wondering if you’d make the baby move before 2016. The decision to give up your body is never an easy one, and reading the financial complications associated with your particular situation made me feel very grateful for my benefits, I’m not going to lie! I’m currently about halfway through pregnancy #1, and in order to accomplish this pregnancy, I had to cut my running mileage in half. I am extremely fortunate that after just two months of reduced running, we were successful without me having to gain weight. It’s not so easy for everyone, and I certainly didn’t expect it to be that way for me! I kept telling myself that I would run throughout, but after daily vomiting and significant weight loss in the first trimester, that plan was negated. I started running again at 12 weeks, and now, 8 pounds later, I’m finding that running is just not comfortable! I have to pee every mile! My point in all of this is that I completely understand the fear of giving up your fitness. It’s totally valid, and I don’t think it’s selfish. Whenever my husband and I talk about how many kids we want, I keep coming back to, “Will I really ever want to do this again?” I think it’s natural for athletic-minded people to have trouble giving up what we know so well, even if the reward is absolutely worth it (and I’m sure it will be). My only advice to you is to do the research on the risks of waiting too long. When I went to my first prenatal appointment and my doctor started talking about genetic screening, possible complications, etc., I was so glad that I’m in the 30-34 category and not any of the increments above it. The statistics are enough to get any woman under 35 horizontal! Ultimately, it’s an expensive, life altering, mind blowing decision to bring a person into this world, but the way I see it, why not give yourself and your baby the best chance to have a healthy, complication-free pregnancy, then let the rest (finances included) figure themselves out. My husband and I are going to be so broke come the baby’s arrival, but from what I hear from others, broke or not, it can be the happiest time of your life. You and Jesse will do what’s right for the two of you, and that’s all you should focus on!
Thanks Laura! I love your replies. So thoughtful and honest. The scariest part in some ways is that you have no control over what kind of pregnancy you have. Best laid plans…
Interesting topic – one we actually talk about in medicine some, too (ok, fine, a lot) — ie when to have a kid? Medical school when you have no money? Residency when you work 80 hours a week and still have more money? Fellowship? Wait until you’re an attending, but then you’re older and paying off a ton of loans? One doctor told me “there is never a good time.” That is probably true for you all, as well.
And, then you have the other population of us (I think it is a disproportionate number of girls in NYC) who have been career focused, eschewed the boyfriend scene because they were “too busy” getting ahead, only to realize that the biological clock is indeed ticking and they better find someone soon or they won’t be getting pregnant ever (or maybe this is just met). Hence, people taking loans out for egg freezing
In an ideal world, you could do IVF, freeze your embryos (ie at the younger egg age) and put them back when you retire (“put them back” = into the uterus to hopefully achieve pregnancy).
Anyways, good luck with baby Flomas. And, good news! The baby does not fall out! If you need anyone to research exercise in pregnancy (or in trying to conceive), hit me up. I’m not a doctor, yet, but can maybe lead you in the right direction (plus, this happens to be what I’m interested in career wise).
PS – think the HR thing of 140 max isn’t entirely true – I think they’ve determined it is safe to go over, but, of course, no one wants to “test it out;” I’d be curious what Paula and Kara followed as their HR guidelines throughout pregnancy
I feel for you MBS. Medical school might just top the charts for difficulty balancing a family. It’s the reason I gave up on my medical aspirations freshman year at Stanford. But I’ve seen many women do it well since then, so it is possible. If it truly had been my passion, I would have knocked down walls to make it work (as I’m sure you’ll do).
Also, you all’s contracts are unreal/insane from the Amy YB post. Seriously, you all need to stage a mutiny for many reasons, but maternity leave should be added to that list of reasons.
I always thought I could have it all (or so I was told growing up), but now I realize it will be more of a “you can have it all, but x, y, z stipulations.”
There’s anxiety about every part of child-bearing and rearing (or finding a husband to have said children with if you me — sends me into panic daily). But, it seems we all find a way to make it work.
Good luck! And, remember, the egg is not always the problem – fyi. [Women always get blamed for everything! Not true always in trying to conceive!]
Thank you for your thoughts and honesty Lauren! Awesome post as always! I’m not a pro runner, but I have Olympic Trials dreams which didn’t come about until I was 30 (I’m 31 now) so I’m already late to the game! I have a daughter (you met Currie in Seattle at Oiselle HQ!) and want more children so this post is timely and I enjoyed reading your perspective.
Like I said, I’m no pro, but it took me 8 months to get pregnant with my daughter, thanks to low body fat, etc. The good news is I bounced back from pregnancy quickly and easily and I’m running faster than ever, hence the late OT dreams. I know you will do the same!
I just wanted to say I wish you luck in your journey! #sistersinsport
Thanks Jen! You are very motivating, which I’m sure you know. Currie is a cutie (like you) so it would be a crime not to make more
. Keep it up girl. I look forward to seeing you again, and keep it up! #sistersinsport
I love your honesty and openness, Lauren. I had never even considered health benefits and contracts for you all if/when you get pregnant. Definitely not easy being an elite female runner with family dreams. I can’t imagine how nerve-wracking the decision and timing must be for you. I am certainly nowhere near an elite/pro runner, but planning for a baby was definitely a concern of mine as well. I am a mom of 2 little guys and was able to run through both of my pregnancies until the very end (5 and 6 miles day before labor for both) and thanks to easy L&D, was able to run again within a week of giving birth. I am now 3 wks post partum and have begun the long road back to my pre-baby running shape. But, I will tell you that it’s 100% true – I was faster after giving birth to my first son…and not just by a little…So take it from us non-pro runner moms out there – you can 100% train through pregnancy (and don’t pay attention to the 140 bpm theory out there – it’s outdated! -> http://www.nycrunningmama.com/2012/06/25/running-during-pregnancy-monitoring-exertion/ I wish you the best of luck in your journey – and hope that you have happiness (and luck if needed!) in whatever you decide !!
Thanks for sharing this. It’s good to know that the pros suffer, too. I’m a recreational runner with one marathon under my belt, so I’m no where near orbiting your caliber. I understand the frustration you’re feeling, however. I’m 10 weeks, and I’m lucky if I can get in 15 miles a week. I’m slower, and I’m lucky if I can get in a ten miler without guzzling my weight in liquid. Plus, I’ve had to start eating before my runs–something I’m not used to doing since I (used to) wake up bright and early, heading out to run immediately. My immune system is taking a beating, too. I got a stomach virus and couldn’t run for a solid week. Since my running had diminished, my fitness level has, too, obviously. I get sore with the ten milers I mentioned. I’m doing a half here in a couple of weeks. We will see how much I have to stop and walk. I am a teacher, so I don’t know what it would be like to lose my sponsors and what not. That has to be difficult! Good luck with your decisions, and I hope to see you in the Olympics come 2016!
Oh my goodness – and I thought my decision was tough when I was trying to work it around graduate school and a potential Ironman. I can’t imagine trying to figure it out when it has such major financial & career implications. Good luck with your decision and may your pipes be clear and his swimmers be strong when you decide to go for it!
I love hearing about your problems and solutions! If you needed to stop running in order for you to get pregnant, how long would that be, do you think??? Do you think you could write on nutrition during cross country season in the near future!? thanks!!!! YOur AWesome!!
Love your post girlfriend! And oh man it rings true. In fact, I would extend your idea and just say that women who have big ambitions for themselves (whether it’s the Olympics or Olympic-sized dreams) struggle mightily to un-puzzle this one. When I was in your position, I had just received my first big promotion at work. A week later, the head of HR (a woman no less) came into my office and hissed, “You better not get pregnant!” Talk about freaking weird.
Bottom line, there’s no such thing as ideal conditions. But there ARE ideal people who should be having babies, and that’s you and Jesse. In fact, I feel pretty confident in saying that your crazy ass fans think you should hurry up and have like 25 thereby improving both the intelligence and aesthetic appeal of our species.
Can you get on that?!
worknesh kidane took 3 or 4 years to have 2 babies (she got pregnant again soon after she had the first baby), she said during that time she did no running, and she did light household chores and went to church every day, she has since coming back got 4th in the olympic 10000 in 2012 and has run 67:26 for 10000, so this is a perfect blue print for the topic.
1. let the husband/guy who got you pregnant take care of making money.
2. stop training, but stay busy with light household chores and church everyday.
3. gradually build up to get back where you were or better, the year or 2 off from running will lengthen your career a few years
4. it worked for lashinda demus, ingrid kristainsen and many others, the mistake radcliffe made was trying to train through her pregnancy, with the body changes and gaining weight it pretty much assured injuries.
5. watch kidane will have a long career because of the time she took off.
6. congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck when you get back to running.
I don’t buy it. Most people can’t afford to have one spouse just not work for three to four years. Plus, “light household chores and church” sounds like it would drive someone who is used to rigorous exercise absolutely insane. And what do you do if you aren’t a churchgoer?
i meant to say worknesh kidane ran 67:26 for the half marathon
As usual, your candor and humor are wonderful, and make it easier to discuss the always-touchy subject of family planning. I’ve got two toddlers who I love dearly but who also drive me bananas sometimes, and while I agree with all the commenters who say “having a child is the most wonderful thing that will every happen to you”, it’s also important to keep in mind that the ramifications of becoming a mom quietly seep into every aspect of your life when you’re not noticing, even into training and into Olympic-sized dreams. I absolutely think it’s possible to simultaneously be a great mom and a world-class runner, as long as you realize adaptation will be necessary; I know I would have been better served had friends given me realistic expectations rather than the idealized versions of what parenthood and post-baby careers are like.
However – the real reason I’m posting here is because I’m really outraged that most sponsors will drop an athlete during the year that she’s pregnant. How is that even legal in 2012 America? And is there a double standard here – i.e. what would happen if an athlete had an injury that prevented him/her from racing for part of a season, or even a full season – would their sponsorship be dropped as well, or is this pregnancy-specific?
Interesting article, especially as I am curently pregnant with my second child. I am not a professional athlete which means I cannot contribute to the financial aspects and health insurance issue but I run competetively and would like to contribute to the discussion by describing my personal experience. First of all, the aspect of “fatness”: I think it is highly individual how much body fat you need in order to conceive a baby. My body fat percentage usually fluctuates between 16 and 18% (which might, of course, be “fat” in the eyes of an elite runner but I certainly have never had “rolls”). I definitely was on the lower end of my range each time I got pregnant – it is individual and the “above 18 or even 21% of body fat for optimal fertility” are just not true for everyone. I gained 16 pounds with my first and seem to be on the same track with this one. If the “10 offseason pounds” aren´t enough for reproductive health, maybe this number should be higher? I am by no means an expert but from what I understand the off-season weight gain should be enough to restore metabolic function, especially hormonal function on women, so why shouldn´t 10% of body weight not do the job? There are a lot of women who aren´t professional athletes and who conceive while being lean, so you need to find your “sweet spot” carefully instead of getting carried away by packing on the pounds mindlessly! I agree with everyone that pregnancy does slow you down but I was surprised how fast I came back. And nothing compares to the mental strength that entering motherhood gives you, nothing. Also, I would not agree that you are totally at your body´s mercy while pregnant. It is still up to you WHAT you put in your mouth while pregnant, if you grab something healthy or a box of cookies. Giving or not giving in to every single craving is a choice, as well as keeping on working out (as long as there are no medical reasons not to, of course), as well as following a healthy lifestyle. You professional athletes are incredibly strong personalities, please, enter your pregnancies without fear, it is just another challenge, you will master it with grace!
I apologize if my English isn´t flawless, it is not my mother tongue!
Sorry, I misunderstood one aspect: 10% body fat referred to competition shape. Yes, that might be problematic but from what I know no serious runner is crazy enough to maintain 10% throughout the year…And even 15 or 16% will not give you rolls, promised;-)
This was a really good read. Thank you! I think these are issues nearly every woman deals with (body image, bouncing back, life change, money) but your description is a great picture of how those concerns are amplified in the pro realm. I have heard some women who get faster after baby. That’s encouraging!
This is really fascinating. Also very interesting about the healthcare benefits because if you think about it, this really only effects Pro Runners in the USA (most countries have socialized medicine).
It also brings up and interesting point about the differences between male/female pro athletes. Obviously males don’t need to worried about this time frame, getting their bodies back in shape, healthcare, etc.
I think the other issue is that pregnancy effects women in different ways – look at Kara Goucher for example (as you said her super powers). But I don’t think this is the case with all professional athletes.
Not to get all personal with you, but have you thought about freezing your eggs? (Only because I have seriously thought about this with my career) Although I am far away from having children right now, I know that KEY promotions in my industry happen between the ages 28 – 34 (aka baby making years). Just another thought!
Lauren, great blog! Really enjoyed it. I have no mommy superpowers! I am just too exhausted to pause until the end of the day. When you feel no regrets about “taking time off”, then you are ready. It’s a wild ride, but totally worth it. Good luck! -Kara G
Another important posting, Lauren! Sounds like you’ve identified the chapters in a book you should write on this topic!
Hi Lauren! I am a runner at heart and on the street. I ran against you when we were in high school and have followed your career ever since. The way you have comeback from injuries and carried on is so inspiring. As you know life does not turn out the way we want it to (sometimes) and pregnancy and motherhood definitely take you on an unexpected path.
I had/have a history of ammennorhea and had trouble getting pregnant. At the time I was trying to conceive I was only running 25-30 miles a week but I believe the ammennorhea was due more to my weight (not high running mileage). I tried the fertility drug called clomid (it helps stimulate ovulation as I was not ovulating on my own). It worked and I got pregnant after a couple months of using the drug.
A lot of female runners have already written about how much they got to run during pregnancy, how they ran shortly after and their baby came out completely healthy. My story is a little different. After getting pregnant, I envisioned 9 months of happily running with a big belly. I dropped to about 20 miles a week, slowed to maybe a minute less per mile and did yoga a couple times a week. At 34 weeks, basically my OB threaten to put me on bed rest if I did not stop running and gain more weight (my weight gain was only 15lbs). So instead of running, I walked and walked and walked thinking I was slowing down but really walking a couple hours a day and working full time was not slowing down. At 37 weeks, due to complications and being told my baby was no longer thriving inside me I was induced and gave birth to a 5 lb feisty kicking and screaming baby girl. I got lucky.
We are all different. Some women can conceive at less than 10% body fat, some can run 30 miles a week for 40 weeks, some can gain 15 lbs and deliver a 8lb baby. It was so hard for me to slow down and put my feet up during pregnancy. I didn’t want to give up my lifestyle, the way I looked in the mirror (not because of vanity, really) etc. I learned the hard way that the sacrifices of motherhood start at conception. I thought I was slowing down but again walking two hours a day doesn’t send a lot of blood supply to the baby. My daughter was no longer growing inside of me. I had so much guilt and shame about how I comprised the wellbeing of my unborn child. Add a traumatic birth experience to that and the hormonal aftermath of childbirth and one needs lots of talk therapy!!
The female body is amazing. We can create and grow another human being! It is hard to comprehend until we see the little one out of the womb or when we are breast feeding and our weight is transferred to their little body. If you decide to begin your motherhood journey, relax and enjoy your pregnancy. I can say I slowed down when my daughter was placed in my arms. The first couple months of life are such an important bonding time. GIVE yourself a maternity leave, and focus on bonding with your baby. For 6-8 weeks after birth, strap that baby on you and walk, walk and walk telling him or her your life story or about your greatest races. (Walking with breast feeding and eating well will get you back on track).
I got lucky, I am lucky and the sacrifice is well worth it.
Anyone who still doubts that exercise during (a healthy) pregnancy is beneficial for mother AND baby needs to read “Exercising through your pregnancy” by James Clapp. It contains the most extensive research in the field. Moderate exercise does NOT have a negative impact on the blood supply to the placenta, on the contrary: Active mothers usually build larger placentas that ensure a good supply to the baby until the end of pregnancy. Problems during pregnancy do occur and it is hard to accept that our behaviour might have very little influence on some of them. I have seen women gaining massive amounts of weight and being largely inactive and yet, delivering a baby that was small for gestational age. Factors that are beyong our control are usuall involved so there is not much point in feeling guilty.
Lauren,
I actually think having a baby would help the financial aspect of your career. Kara Goucher isn’t the best US marathoner, but she is a media/marketing darling because she’s cute and has a baby. As a fellow Nike runner, your marketability would dramatically increase if you had a child and remained a professional runner. “Fitness Mommies” make up a large portion of Nike Running’s market…. your likability and openness as a professional running mother could actually make you a MORE successful sponsored runner.
Hell, I’d buy a pair of shoes if you told me I’d look cool and run faster
Best of luck whatever you decide for the timing of your family. Just remember, if you’re on the fence about the timing of having children…. no one regrets having children when they did, but you may regret if you choose too wait too long.
You can sit down and write an endless list of “what if?”. But in the end end it only comes down to 2 questions, for EVERYONE, no matter your job, place in life, or anything. 1) Do I really want to have a child, and 2) Am I willing to do WHATEVER it takes to raise them. You can get advice from everyone in the world, you can prepare for everything you can think of, but that small, miracle child will take all your plans and toss them out the window, and if you answered yes to the first question…. then you won’t care and you will make it work.
My vote; go for it!
Love you so much!!! You are an inspiration and a total blast!
Hi Lauren,
Great post! I’m an Ob/Gyn and have seen women from all walks of life question the timing of having a baby, including my own colleagues in residency who often built their families, if at all, aimed around 2-4 week blocks of potential time that could be covered.
I think your complications with timing pertain to all professional women with career goals, yours being different by the weight your need to put on for conception (not a common problem in this country unfortunately) and the changes you need to allow your body to go through! Many women have the same financial troubles – time off is not paid, and they can be laid off if complications arise (I’ve even known medical residents to lose their spots when they had to go on bedrest). Being uninsured and underinsured is also a huge problem.
The bad news is that I disagree with Nora Ephron. I don’t think we can have it all in the way that we want, that is, a way that we can be great at being a professional and great at being a parent and not completely exhausted, overworked, or burned out. That being said, I believe that women are good at knowing what’s important to them. If you find that life is flexible and priorities can truly come first while you continue to do your job in a way or raise your family in a way that you enjoy, you’ll figure it out.
The good news is that every marathoner I’ve ever delivered pushes really well in labor! Your capacity for endurance will be very beneficial for pregnancy and labor, and may I suggest use of sponsors for your labor. I’ve always thought that shot blocks or gels or picky bars or power drinks would be a great way to get calories while not upsetting your stomach in labor.
Best of luck to you in your journey!
Hey Lauren,
I am not super qualified to speak on this topic, since I am a male with no experience in planning my pregnancy between hopeful Olympic opportunities. With that said, one should ask themselves- Do I truly want to have children? I know that brings up another question- Will I regret not having children, if I don’t do it? If it is a no brainer and you want a child, I say “Go for it” instead of “Just do it”. Here is my reasoning: First, I think your body could be even stronger and faster after. Am I insane, I think not. Hear me out- Your body will get the rest it needs (although active), after giving birth you will have fat stores that will be turned into muscle. I have seen your body on race day- there is not an ounce of fat on you. It is harder to build muscle with nothing to build from especially if you are training as hard as you do. You will be forced to train slower, building your fascia and connective tissues better, making you less prone to injury. I think in the past you have had to resort to creative measures in order to get you ready to race when there is no time. Nothing against the elepticgo or any other cross training (which I feel is beneficial to an extent) method in order to recover from hard track work outs; however, I do not feel you can replace building a strong base, training hard and recovering properly with cross training. I believe you only have so much energy or reserves and if you have the proper time to set you up for a particular race than you don’t force yourself to over train. Building that base is key, the birth of a future child could help you build that awesome base. Also, this could give you the time you need to get “Picky Bars” on the map. I would love to see other trail runners going for your snack than a gu. The real question is- Do you need better sponsors to aid you in your quest? I am not happy with your sponsors- you deserve for them to have your back on this. Forget Kara, I want Runner’s World to be telling your story in a couple years and your shoe contract to pay your families medical bills for life. Call 60 Minutes, maybe they will do a piece on you and your present sponsor- I know, a scary proposition. Wish you all the success in the world and have a blast doing it!
Matt
Lauren!
You nailed it with “timing is everything” in the world of planning for baby(ies). I’m not nearly on your level, but I will say that the SURPRISE timing of my pregnancy & baby this past year sure threw a wrench in my Olympic Trials plans. I didn’t think I was capable of getting pregnant last fall, at my highest consistent mileage, lowest % body fat (12%) and high stress of the PhD program….and then wham, my “flu” turned out to be much more than just a momentary illness!! I don’t have much to say except good luck with your decion making, and I’d love to get the “uh, what did you do” call. It’s been 10 weeks so far, and I’m now standing, myself at the bottom of the back-to-shape mountain and could use some pep to get me over the “gulp” of trying to re-define my body, family and running goals.
-Magdalena
(www.runbunrun.com)
I read through every one of these comments after your honest blog, Lauren. You have so many people supporting your thoughts and concerns. Talk about being loved!
Having three babies myself, ridiculous “VLT,” and finally fed up of not sleeping for 8 years (no one told me this was part of motherhood), not feeling in control of anything (if you are a control freak, having children will drive you crazy more often than not until you “let go” and have faith that everything WILL WORK OUT)….. I turned to running, Beach Body (Insanity is excellent! Have you tried it or Asylum?)…. and am in the best shape of my life. You CAN control your body- which is YOUR source of income!
For sure, my advice would be to try to have babies as soon as possible. The younger you are, the FASTER your body will bounce back. The body is an amazing thing. Where ever it is meant to be, it will be. If Lauren Fleshman is meant to be a thin, muscular, running machine… then you will be there before you know it! Honest. It is such a surreal thing. Personally, blew me away.
Yes, you will have more oxygen from the increased red blood cell volume, your lungs will be like machines you never thought possible after baby! (Men two times my age and in better shape tire faster as I keep running strong.)
Best part, you have lived through SO much more as an elite athlete. Digging deep when there is nothing left in the energy store to finish strong…. it makes pregnancy, birth,and motherhood a piece of cake compared. Really and truly.
Thanks for such a funny and honest post! I am far from your level, but consider myself to be a fairly serious runner. I just had my first baby this summer and was amazed at what my body let me do while pregnant. I ran 50 mile weeks well over half of my pregnancy, hit 40 miles in my 40th week, and still could average around 8min/mile. I didn’t have the easiest labor, but was still back running within 2 weeks and now, at 4 months out my body is back to where it was in my peak. It was hard seeing my body change and “soften” due to all the hormones, but you just have to trust it will come back eventually! After running through my pregnancy, and learning how to balance running and being a mom, I think you can’t help but be tougher mentally than ever before. My OB did ask me in the middle of delivery which was harder, pushing out a baby, or running a marathon. I said I would run a marathon any day over labor! You will come back stronger and faster, I am sure!
On a side note, my husband was an Olympian this summer (ball sport). As the spouse of a professional athlete, I deal with the same 4 year window. Even though my body isn’t the one making the money, our lives are in such flux that we totally had to plan our baby around his career and the Olympics. Thankfully the timing all worked out!
Good luck
how the HECK did you average 8min miles?! i’m at 6mths, still running 40 mpw with a 10 mi ‘long’ run….but my pace slowed by 2 – 2:30min!
I have no clue! I kept waiting for a huge slowdown to happen, but past 30 weeks I even felt better than I did in my second tri.
I just wanted to thank Lauren and all the commenters for this great discussion. Like some others here, I am a purely recreational runner, but I really struggled to conceive my daughter, because of exercise-induced amenorrhea (I will never learn to spell that word!). It took almost 2 years, a dramatic cut back in exercise, and gaining 10-15 lbs before I was able to conceive using fertility drugs.
I know several people have mentioned freezing eggs or embryos (data suggests fertilised embryos have higher success rate), but I just caution folks to read up on that, and the limitations which still exist. There is no guarantee those little frosties will successfully turn into babies – and if you delay conception and it doesn’t work, you may be out of options.
Just to counter the gloom and doom of my post – I didn’t run at all during my pregnancy because of my worries related to the fertility issues I had, and still have come back faster and stronger than before.
thanks for your comment, jesse. i have a similar story — drastically cut back mileage, gained 10 – 15lbs in order to conceive. i’m 6mths pregnant and incredibly thankful to have conceived after a year of drastically altering my life/diet/exercise. i wish i would have known then what i know now about intense running and fertility. but, i guess i needed to learn that lesson the hard way and learn to let go of the need for control!
Loving all the posts here, beginning with yours Lauren. Currently 16 weeks pregnant with a 10-month-old in the house, and finding myself so much more relaxed about running during this second pregnancy, I just did a half marathon last Sunday but no running through all past week to give myself a rest after an amnio. As a new mom, I found time available for running got significantly reduced and that was a hard pill to swallow, also you do need a strong support network around you especially if you want to continue doing this at a professional/competitive level. The tiredness from long sleepless nights is surreal and I wasn’t prepared for that, I imagine in a household of two professional athletes there would need to be clear distribution of responsibilities (eg who is doing the night shifts today?) and maybe even a third person around to help out. However, yes you do bounce back very soon, and as a mom I am now finding running more vital for my well-being than ever before, hence why I want to continue doing it until the end of pregnancy this time round. Not easy decisions to make, but Lauren you need to go for it now, it will coincide nicely with your injury healing process – sounds like good timing to me!!! Good luck.
Lauren, I hear you on this, and let me tell you that it is possible to not only come back, but come back stronger. I’m proof that regular people can come back. Add your Olympic genes, and there is no doubt you can take the Kara Goucher path. I had never even broken 41 minutes for the 10K and less than a year post-partum I ran 38:xx at 40 years old!. I also competed in multi-sports and represented Team USA and medaled at Worlds. You have the tenacity to get back and you will. And having a baby makes you stronger in so many ways. The hormones are incredible for racing too. Don’t get me wrong, this is crazy hard, but if you and your partner want to make it work for you to get back to the Olympics, you have every reason to believe that you can do it. Here’s a little something I wrote about having my son. http://citycoach.org/simon-says-win-win/ I also wrote a bunch of stuff while going through the pregnancy. I remembered searching for stuff on athletes who gave birth and not finding much out there. (BTW, my husband Jonathan Cane led a Nike promo with you for the Human Race where you ran over the Brooklyn Bridge. He came home and kept saying how wonderful you were.) All the best to you, and I look forward to reading about your journey, NSQ
P.S., Not sure you can bounce back? If I, as a non-Olympian can look like this after 5 days: http://simoncane.blogspot.com/2011/11/i-say-haters-gonna-hate.html, just imagine what your body will do. Remember who you are: you’re Lauren “sick-nasty-fast” Fleshman!!
Good for you Lauren! glad to see online you were also working out with the Team Run Eugene group! Go Wonder Woman and blaze up that track! Will be thinking of your inspiring comments out on my run today. Hope you catch a chance to see the NYC marathon, brave new yorkers in that city bouncing back from the storm.
Lauren,
I love that you put your honest feelings all out there! I say if you want it..and it happens, things will work out
They won’t go as perfectly planned, but that is part of parenthood and what makes it all worth it. You may or may not be able to run through the entire pregnancy (everyone carries differently and feels differently), but if not…you’ll be able to stay fit doing other cross training activities. I’m a runner (not a pro), mom of 3, Pre/Post Natal Trainer (of pros even) and specialize in helping women get their inner core strength back. (And it’s not the hardcore ab exercises athletes are used to doing)
Someone as fit as you won’t lose it all in 9 months
You can come back stronger than ever..just 1 piece of advice – listen to your body and don’t JUMP the gun on racing post-pregnancy. Your body may bounce back fast, or it may not, but it WILL come back! While muscle memory is a factor and will be in your favor, there are other factors (hormone levels, bone density, connective tissue and ligament strength)
If you do run in 2nd or 3rd TRI- I highly recommend wearing a belly support. (Shameless plug) I designed the new Maternity & Post-Natal FITsplint recently
It’s not for the weak moms, but the smart moms who might need support. And a pregnant running mom really does need support for the stretching connective tissue, ligaments, the back, help reduce gravitational forces on the pelvic floor and help reduce bladder pressure.
Good luck with your decision!
Hi Lauren…I really do enjoy reading your posts. I was a pretty decent runner in college, and continued to train moderately in the years after graduation. I have a history of ammennorhea, but I became pregnant very easily. I don’t know what my body fat % was at the time, but I was pretty lean (5’10” and under 125). You may be a “Fertile Mertle” too and not even have to worry about that!
As far as running while you’re pregnant- you will just have to see how you feel. I ran 3-4 miles 3-4 days a week until 6 months. Truth is, I hated running slow, and it just wasn’t enjoyable at that point. You will know what is best for you physically and mentally when you experience it for yourself.
It is very costly to have a baby these days, but in some cases hospitals will work with families that don’t have insurance and pay cash. My sister was without insurance when she had her baby (she was finishing nursing school and her husband is self employed) and they were given some sort of discount. Just contact potential doctors and hospitals in your area to check it out.
I’ll also add that we’ve saved a lot of money just by using cloth diapers and breastfeeding. Bleach is cheap and you can line dry. I was able to pump enough milk in the first few months to fill my freezer. That way, you won’t have to shell out for formula right away when you need to stop nursing for training purposes (I’m still nursing my daughter at 7 months, and it is challenging running when the “girls” are twice their normal size).
Best of luck with everything! You are quite an inspiration to many people
Hi Lauren,
I’m a big fan of yours, and always enjoy your blog. Thanks for sharing your life!
I am SO not national class, but qualifying for the OT in the marathon is a realistic goal for me. I have a daughter just over a year old, and can possibly add some words of encouragement on the pregnancy / running front. It took me only a few months to get pregnant (thought I’m pretty sure my body fat is at least 15%), and my pregnancy was very easy. I was able to maintain close to pre-pregnancy mileage at a pretty decent clip (60ish mpw) through about the second trimester, then dropped it the last trimester. (I also, completely by choice, almost immediately quit formal “workouts” upon learning I was pregnant.) By the end, I was shuffling through 4-5 miles / day. The only issues I had were 1) having to pee CONSTANTLY the last couple of months, and 2) lowish amniotic fluid, which doctors thought perhaps was caused by running-related dehydration. (Unclear, because when I brought my water intake up to like 150 oz / day and took a break from running, it persisted. In any case, it ended up having no bearing on the baby.)
I was able to return to running two weeks post-delivery, and was back to my pre-pregnancy times when my daughter was 8 months. Now I’m PRing! Also, my pretty intense training didn’t impact my milk production at all, so that was great (and surprising). I breastfed for a year, with really no issues.
Anyway, again, I concede that I had a very easy pregnancy (no morning sickness or fatigue), so I can only speak from my own experience. Still, it’s been a much easier road than I thought.
Good luck!
Nice article! Great post about The Truth About Pro Running and Babies! Interesting, clear and precise. Very valuable information Lauren.
I value you sharing this blog post.Truly searching forward to read more. Keep writing.