When you are used to being on a team, injuries are isolating. The team training schedule goes right out the window and is replaced with doctors appointments, cross training, physical therapy, and rehab exercises. The first few weeks, when I’m thinking “I’ll be better any day now,” I try to stay connected to the team by showing up at practice before cross training, meeting teammates socially, etc.
But as the injury settles in, I slip further and further away. Emails from the team remain unopened (what does that have to do with me anyway?) Therapy appointments get scheduled right over practice times (I can’t run so why be there?) Before too long, a random run-in with a teammate at the grocery store becomes as awkward as a conversation with an ex-boyfriend. By eight weeks in, I might as well be shacking up in the Maldives. I’m totally gone.
Then, eventually, the injury starts to come around. Every few days or so, there is a small improvement. The list of activities I can do grows. Every day I gain a little more trust in my body. Health is somewhere up ahead, calling to me. And that’s when I have the desire to be around my team again.
Today, my OTCE teammates were scheduled to meet up at a remote logging road outside of the rural town of Marcola. This place has a beautiful tree-lined dirt road that rolls along a creek and plenty of steep side roads that are perfect for hill repeats (it’s at the end of Wendling Rd if any of you want to check it out, but it’s only open to the public on weekends). The dirt roads are totally inappropriate for someone with a fragile IT band, and hills are not on my list of activities yet, so there were plenty of great excuses not to drive 30 minutes to meet them for the workout. If I drove out there, I’d have to do my workout all by myself on the flat asphalt road, something I could easily do from my front door instead.
I went to Marcola anyway, and it was awesome.
Being on the team’s schedule gave me structure for my day. Carpooling with my teammates made me feel like no time had passed, and it was nice to be around the energy of other people as we collectively ramped up for a big effort. The five minutes I got to warmup with the team, the cacophony of random chatter filled in the spaces of the otherwise empty forest, and I grinned ear to ear. God I missed this. I’m running right now. I’m on the Nike Oregon Track Club Elite Team. I’m running!
My 40 minute progressive run went better than expected. The course I chose was a 0.9 mile pavement loop, part of which went over a classic Oregon covered bridge, repeated over and over again until the 40 minutes was up. I stayed in my trainers instead of flats, heart rate and effort were my only guides, and only when it was finished did I check the splits on my SportWatch to see how it shook out. 6:20’s to start before settling into 6:05’s for a while, and finishing the last 10 minutes at 5:45 pace. Not too bad, considering!
Finishing way before the rest of the team, I had 30 minutes or so to wander down to my favorite swimming hole to ice my legs. I started to think about how easy 5:45 miles felt on November 6th in NY for the first 19 miles, and then I made myself stop looking behind me. I thought about the hard, smooth granite underneath me. My feet and ankles ached as the frigid water rushed over my legs. I wrapped my hoody tighter around my face and hugged my body against the breeze. The sun peeked out from the grey sky just long enough to ripple the river with tin foil and pull my attention skyward past the cathedral of trees to watch it slip behind the clouds once again.
Glad to see/read you’re back running!
I’m not on a team, but have running buddies and that’s the thing I’ve missed most. Sometimes when I pass by a route I run a lot with friends, I find myself thinking (or sometimes saying out loud), “I just want to run with my friends…is that so much to ask?!?”
I did go meet my running buddies after all of their long runs (and my umm long sleep? good at that these days). It was not as depressing as I thought, kind of like your experience. In fact, it was nice to see them and catch up. It made me excited to run again rather than depressed.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t as hungry as them – one of the things I miss about long runs. All in due time, I guess.
Glad you’re back! Keep your adoring public posted.
So true about breakfast! I don’t think I’m ready to reintegrate during post long run breakfast…not until I’m running a long run myself. I won’t know how to stop when I’m full, not after 16 years of conditioning!
Lauren, I’m so glad you’re running!!!:) I’ve been in the same position as you lately, with the whole physical therapy conflicting with practice times. I’m still in that wholeinjury is spiraling downward phase ( I have been since June). This gives me hope that eventually it can, and will, get better.
Thank you for your inspiration!:)
Sarah, that’s hard. I’m sorry. I hope you are staying involved in something non-running that makes you happy. During my longest injury, it seemed like it wasn’t until I basically had let it all go and accepted that running might just be over and out of my control that things started to improve. Why is that?!
I know what you mean! It almost seems like when I’m distracted by something else, I feel better. The more I try to heal it and think about running, the worse it feels:/ What do you do when you don’t even have a diagnosis?
Wow…this was so well written. I can just picture that peaceful scene. It sounds wonderful! I’m really glad you got to go run with your team again. It was great to hear from you again, and I second Meggie, keep the blogging coming! Though recovering comes first 🙂
Thanks Robin. You must be a fellow nature lover 🙂
LAUREN! That is excellent news! You perfectly explained that terrible feeling of isolation! I love the part about the emails and running into the team at the grocery store! As the mom of a running team daughter, I feel your pain! She’s going through some of the same things and is going to practice for the first time tomorrow! I can’t wait to hear the excitement in her voice just like I can “hear” yours! Can’t wait to hear what you do next! What an inspiration you are!
I hope it goes well for her. I bet she walks back in the door beaming.
Glad to hear things are headed in the right direction. ITBS is rough – I had it from late April through November last year, and my IT band is still a little fragile. I’m trying to foam roll it into submission.
Looking forward to following your races this spring! Now I just need to find a local crew… Reading this great post makes me miss really miss having a team!
I’ve heard enough people talk about lingering awareness in the ITB that I try to handle the whole thing like an adult when I have pain. Key word there is try. Definitely get yourself a crew. One thing that is pretty awesome is meeting a recreational running group on your easy days now and then. In Eugene, people meet up at our local running store several times a week (Eugene Running Company) and they are a big group of friends of all ages. As much as I love my OTC Elite team, it is also amazing to know a big variety of people in the community that I share a love of running with. Highly recommend it!
Lauren, I was so happy to see a new post from you. You have been an incredible inspiration and role model for me. Thanks for being so honest in your posts 🙂 Keep on healing and love the running 🙂
Thanks Yukiha
That was very well written. Everytime I hurt myself, it is always so great when I’m able to get back out there. My girlfriend and I are big fans of yours. Keep running and writing!
Thanks Scott.
Great to hear that you are running again! You are such an inspiration and ever since I met you at Nike Nationals last year I have kept up with your running career! It is so cool to have the insight your blog has into the life of a professional runner who is well spoken (written) and funny. Keep up the awesome running and thank you for the inspiration!
Thanks Meghan! Keep expanding your running self, and I look forward to reading your comments this year! Feel free to share your experiences whenever you want.
I’m happy to hear that you choose to get back into fellowship with your running community. You are a natural encourager & they need your presence as much as you need theirs. When an injury prevents me from running long runs, I provide bike support for others. I haul their extra liquids, gels, picky bars, & sweat shirts/pants. I enjoy talking with them & encouraging them. Good job, Lauren!
Good man, Neil. That’s such a good way to be. Much healthier than falling into a black hole! 🙂
Lauren, never forget that you are the Queen of Adversity. Think about last season and how you came through it in late season, the trip to Daegu, the beautiful Korean clothing that adorned your awesome self, your joy and how teammates embraced you. You are not forgotten by anyone, believe me, especially teammates. I experienced this my freshman year at Tennessee, training on my own, feeling oh so lonely as captain of a team I couldn’t lead. Yet, I had the endurance and heart to win the SEC freshman cross country title in a record time that still stands. I ran out of fear of losing and the desire to win. You just ran a marathon, you are cross training to stay conditioned, so you are staying fresh by varying your training. How good is that?
I can run on my Go bike 3 x wk now if I don’t flare up my ankle. I’m up to 20 minutes at a moderate pace working toward 60 minutes. I am happily losing weight daily with 12 pounds to go. And it is only February. Lauren, it is still February and you are 30 years young. You body can still heal fast. OK, I’m done. If you want a training partner every so often, call me and we will go for a Go run. I will leave it up to you. I like you and want to help any way I can, so consider me a friend and ally. I’ve been doing many different forms of bodywork for 35 years, and I am delving into biomechanics and Compression next. I’m still looking for my niche with runners.
“Believe it, See it and Recieve it!”
Kenan
915.7439
Thanks Kenan. I’ve got my wellness team all sorted for 2012, but I can pass on your info to others in need. Keep up the good work. Sounds like you are in a really good place right now, improving every week.
Finding the way to be that allows us to drive towards a goal but also be happy with each day’s independent effort is the holy grail of running.
Glad that you are back to “our” team and writing again. You do know, don’t you, that we’re not just your running friends? You can write about anything, and we are interested to hear about it. 🙂
Muna, I LOVE what you wrote there about the holy grail of running. I read this comment last night and had time to think about it, and I really appreciate your encouragement to write about other things besides running. You know what? I will start doing just that. Thank you.
Keep the PMA!
What is PMA?
Positive Mental Attitude!
Great news! I didn’t see any black toenails in the picture either: the world is good. Really missed your blogs and glad you’re back. EZ does it now…
Toenails are in better shape. Not a foot model by any means though. Alas.
Lauren,
The timing of your post could not have been better! With a personal tragedy in January and the discovery of a possibility of a running-ending heart abnormality shortly thereafter, I’ve been sidelined from any activity for over 5 weeks. I’ve struggled with staying a part of my training groups be it my 5:00am fast friends or my average long run buddies. I was just cleared to run (slowly) with a HR below 130 but I’ve wondered how I’ll stay in touch while being forced to take it easy. I am inspired to jump in whenever possible and re-evaluate my goals for the upcoming year… maybe Boston won’t happen this year; Or maybe it’ll be my slowest but most fun marathon yet! Who knows! But it certainly won’t be the 3:10 I was training for.
Your old logging road sounds and looks much like my favorite western MA running gem; Green River Road. It too, is hilly and winds along a small river through out-of touch- civilization. There’s something about the running water too. It seems to have a healing effect. Good luck in your recovery process! Here’s a favorite quote of mine which helps me to get through the tedious rehab exercises when nursing an injury-
“Only those who have the patience to do simple things perfectly will acquire the skill to do difficult things easily.” ~Johann Schiller
Run Happy!
You have a great attitude Mackenzie. Especially about being open to your Boston experience being whatever it will be. I can’t tell you how awesome that is, and how well it’s going to set you up for a memorable experience.
Does a person ever regret having a positive attitude towards unforeseen circumstances? I’m guessing not. The trick is remembering that when we are in pain.
This is so beautifully written, Lauren! I can really relate to it at the moment, too. I’m still in the middle of an injury, and its so hard for me to talk to my old teammates (I’m post-collegiate), my runner-friends, even my coach about their training…it’s honestly painful to be reminded of what you can’t do at the moment (but want to be doing so badly!). It’s so inspiring to read about you coming back strong though – all the work you’ve put in to doing the tedious stretching, strengthening, cross training is going to pay off. 🙂 I will be cheering you on this spring and at the track trials!
Thanks Kate. I’m pulling for you! Try putting some love into your non-running related relationships. When I do that, it strengthens me and gives me a better perspective that helps me reintegrate with my team when the time is right.
Hell yeah!
Whoop!
Good story Lauren.
Thanks!
Where the wind blows there I am. Come!
right on.
This is the best news! The only news that would be better would be the end of the war in Afghanistan! Inspires me to get up to the Baldwin Hills Overlook near the house your parents lived in when you were born… We took you out to watch Joan Benoit run by, and she may have sprinkled some fairy dust on you…
she was a quarter mile ahead of the other women marathon runners going into the 1984 Olympic stadium…
Thanks for the comment Kathy! Enjoy those Baldwin Hills! I was lucky enough to get to tell Joanie Benoit Samuelson that story a couple years ago, and it tripped her out (made her feel old she said!) She is an amazing woman. One of the coolest perks of running with Nike is that she does too, and I get to hang out with her now and then for events.
Nothing beats the camraderie of a team. I think that’s why I loved cross country and relays. All for one and one for all!!
Happy training…
~Tosha
good luck to you. what i know of american runners often their is the artist and the drone.your an artist. hope you realize your dreams
Lauren, I just thought of something that might help your ITB. I don’t know your injury, and I respect that you already have your wellness team. However, for me, I am always open to progressive treatment no matter what. I had scar tissue in my calves that prevented running for 40 years and never knew it. Rich Phaigh told me about Anita Dekker, MD., who breaks down scarring by needling the tissue. My ITBs were UNTOUCHABLE until I had them needled. It increased my hamstring flexibility by 20%. ITB was never injured, but I know it has prevented other problems. I know you have to be very careful about what you put in your body, and the needling is with an empty syringe, sometimes B12. I recently found another Doc who is on the leading edge with treatment. I’ve had prolotherapy and neural treatment for my ankle. I had severe neuropathy in my lower legs and feet and it is not a problem now. And my balance is returning.
My point is, be open to other forms of treatment and I think you are. Anyway, his name is Kenneth Welker and his biz name is Optimal Health. He treated his wife who could no longer run and she is running marathons again.
I don’t want to be a bother, but I couldn’t help telling you about these treatments.
I really have your best interest in mind.
Sincerely,
Your friend and ally, Kenan
Gah – pesky injuries! It’s happy news to hear you are on the mend. It sounds like it was good physically and mentally for you to drive that 1/2 hour and be with your teammates, even if you still did you workout solo. Keep up the smart & steady road to recovery. 🙂
So glad to hear you’re back! I’ve wondered what happened to you. Injuries suck! No offense but it’s kinda nice to hear even elite athletes get those pesky injuries like us common folk. Glad your on your way back. I’ve been back only 4 weeks after being off 13 weeks. Not fun, definitely affects my mood.
I’ve been sidelined for about 6 months due to some foot/hip pain, and after dealing with podiatrists and other doctors, it can be hard to keep trying to find solutions.
While certainly not the best of times, injuries — more specifically, coming back from them — can certainly help harden the spirit (in a good way). Your perspective, as well as your past/current recoveries, helps me a lot. It happens to career runners. It happens to weekend warriors, or the casual jogger. It happens to those of us who need running for reasons we can’t readily define.
I can’t wait for a day that I can revel in the exhaustion of a track workout, or the calm of a long afternoon on the trails. Sitting on the sidelines seems so much harder than those hours ever were.
Good luck on your recovery, and thanks again for the tales of your recoveries and success! It gives me a lot of hope.
Go Lauren!
I just read this blog entry. Thank you so much sharing. After the Olympic Trials Marathon I had to cross train for awhile (seemed like forever, but was actually only about a month). I was a mess. I am running again now and so happy to doing so, and meeting up with my teammates. I really related to your entry because that month on the elliptical was not great. (I actually blogged about how runners can get mentally down when not training, made me feel better to read research on the topic and blog about it). Thank so much for sharing. I am rooting for you. Wishing you a strong recovery and fast running in 2012!
I just want to say, having read your interview in this month’s Running Times, I can completely relate to your feelings re: pool running. I was injured all this winter and have spent too many afternoons bobbing in what must appear to be a quite frothy, agitated manner to all the swimmers going by. In my mind, there is not a more boring activity out there. When you look forward to turning around and being able to read the “Max capacity 60 swimmers, no glass, running, or horseplay” sign every 5 minutes or so, things are bleak. Hope you are soon back on the (more stimulating) roads and track!
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Hello Lauren,
I really enjoyed reading this post even if it was from a little while ago. I am an Aussie running in the US college system and recently this fall sustained my first injury, a stress fracture in my metatarsal…3 days before our cross country championship. I remember at first I was devastated….I remember watching other girls being sidelined from injury but it’s not until it happens to you personally that it really hits home. Living in a shared house with 5 other girls on the team made it especially tough.
I was out of running for 8 weeks (which in the grand scheme of things is minor) but I still felt really isolated from the team. I’ve been back home for the past few weeks and slowly getting back into running. Even though I wouldn’t wish an injury upon anyone, 8 weeks of running I hope has made me a little stronger, a little wiser and a little more balanced. One thing is for sure, sitting on my sunny deck here in Australia…I am so excited to get back next weekend and run with the team again, even if there is truckloads of snow…little pleasures I have learned to appreciate much more!
Annabelle
Hi Annabelle!
It’s a while since you wrote this, and I hope your recovery has gone well and it’s good being back with the team. You sound like you have a great perspective.
L