homonculusHave you ever seen a homonculus?  Its a whacked out illustration (in this case a human) used to illustrate the functioning of a system.  In this example, the size of the body parts are drawn relative to the amount of sensory nerves they contain.  Big parts have lots of nerves, etc.  I always loved these things in science class, and thinking about my life right now reminds me of homonculi.

I’m having trouble writing journal entries because I have so many projects going on right now.  Its not that I don’t have time to write, its just that I don’t quite know how to compartmentalize where my bloggable activities start and end for the purposes of this journal.

I spend several hours a week working on our budding energy bar company, and another handful of hours working on an art project with my friend Ro, both things taking up a great deal of my emotional and mental energy.  I’m really not spending much time thinking about running.

Don’t get my wrong, I’m training my butt off, but I’m intentionally keeping my distance emotionally from the sport for a little while.  The mind is what overdrafts the account first, at least in my case.  I’ve learned over the years that I can handle a great deal of physical training, but I can only spend so many months “all in” emotionally.  The rest of the time, I just need to get the work done without analysis.  Hence, its tough to write about things when you aren’t thinking deeply about them.

If I made symbols of the various things I do in a day, I could make two homonculi (homo- technically means they have to be human in shape but work with me here) to illustrate the strange disconnect in my athletic life right now between the physical and the emotional.

Symbols

Shoe = Training
TV = TV
Heart = Relationships
Pencil = Design Project
Whisk = Picky Bars

Size with respect to the physical and actual time spent.

Size with respect to the physical and actual time spent.

Size with respect to emotional emphasis

Size with respect to emotional emphasis.

In the name of keeping it real with this journal, I’d better follow my passions.  It will be interesting for me to look back at old entries and see how and when the emotional tide turns.

Maybe I’ll learn something.